Off the prompt "cuddles."

So I've said that if I ever made an Archer/T'Pol vid it would be like, 90% Archer's WTF face. They'll be going along slowly, feeling each other out and building trust with careful stubbornness like proper representatives of adversarial cultures and then all of the sudden T'Pol will cop to 1) being an individual 2) having a sense of humor and 3) either having been amused by something Archer said, or having pulled a practical joke on him. And then the facade slides back in place and Archer is left going, "Did that just happen?" (Like the time she spins this long yarn billed as factual about her great grandmother that Archer and Trip are going, "No way, did that really happen?" and she concludes with, "...you asked me to tell you a story." Archer's head is SIDEWAYS in wtf, I tell you. Or the time the Ferengi took over the ship, which despite being totally implausible from a timeline perspective is one of my favorite cracky this-is-a-holonovel episodes because Trip spends literally half the episode running around saving the ship in his underwear. Also Archer attempts to tell the Ferengi that T'Pol's not worth kidnapping, she's way too boring, no sense of humor, and T'Pol later gives him shit about claiming she had no sense of humor and refuses to unlock his handcuffs until he gets into the swing of the game and bribes her with the completely mythical gold the Ferengi have been after.)

Archer, T'Pol and Trip have dinner in Archer's ready room a lot, this is going to contribute to my threesome love I think. In any case! There is an episode that starts with wtf face. Archer is choking on his dinner and Trip is going, "Excuse me?" and when T'Pol starts to repeat what she said, they're like, "Nonono omg we HEARD YOU." Apparently she asked them if they were suffering from a lack of sexual activity. They ask why she would think so; she points out that if they followed frat regs, they haven't had sex in ten months.

(Time out to pat Enterprise on the head for having frat regs. Those poor bastards, none of the other Treks did.)

Trip points out that T'Pol is not subject to Starfleet's frat regs (why I do not know, she subject to things like chain of command, you'd think that would be a related issue) and how is her sex life doing? T'Pol replies that Vulcans only have sex every seven years. Thereby shooting down their hopes that her inquiry was an offer. But Archer keeps bugging her about why she's so interested and her reply is that she understands the human mating ritual is supposed to relieve stress, and their efficiency ratings are down three percent. They need an optimally efficient captain, clearly he needs to do sex.

Which is why she has picked out a planet for them to visit for shore leave. At this point I am going, "Risa? The way this episode has been going it has to be Risa." Sure enough it is Risa. T'Pol hilariously informs them that she selected it as a shore leave planet for its pristine beaches. Archer asks if it is populated, at which point the truth comes out, for T'Pol admits that the population is humanoid and quite willing to help relieve stress.

This is canon, yo, for varying values of canon. Mind you, they do not get to Risa in this episode, they spend the next three episodes taking detours and answering distress calls, but opening every episode with "we were on our way to Risa when..." so I choose to take the fact that they get there in the end as proof of T'Pol's stubbornness on the getting-the-captain-laid plan. When they finally get there Archer is all guilty about going down when half the crew has to stay aboard. T'Pol points out that there was a lottery and he had the same chance as anyone else, which I choose to read as T'Pol rigged that sucker because by Surak's big toe she was getting the captain laid.

Speaking of Surak, she arranges to have a present waiting for Archer in his villa by the sea on Risa. You just see the note first, it says "For relaxation." I half-expected it to be a horga'hn, the Risian symbol of fertility that you display as an invitation to casual sex (ie the souvenir Riker asked Picard to pick up for him without explaining what it was so that Picard was fending off hot girls for days and cursing Riker's name when he found out). But no. T'Pol sent Archer a copy of the philosophy of Surak. Honestly for that to have any relevance to T'Pol's averred interest in getting the captain laid for his own good, I think the unexpurgated Surak must have some choice bits on My Vulcan Brethren, When Your Time Is Upon You, You Must Embrace Your Sexuality For It Is Illogical To Die Rather Than To Have Sex. Not that most humans have ever seen unexpurgated Surak and Archer may be rather surprised if he ever compares his copy to the standard library editions back on Earth.

*SQUISH* I love them so.

(Everyone knows why I say Part II: THE REVENGE, right? Everyone knows about Vulcan Love Slave Part II: THE REVENGE, right?)(PS: it's google-able.)

So it looks as if ysobel may have actually gone to see Star Trek: Reboot in the last day or so but hey I've been keeping like eighty tabs open in several windows to write this entry as soon as I had the spoons, so hey, more linkspam.

popculturezoo.com tries to figure out how much series canon this movie negated.

st_xi_kink has produced a lot of fic, as archived on delicious.

More LJ comms:
trekfics - says is for all iterations, banner is notably Reboot
trekanon - I don't actually understand this anon confession meme thing but hey there you go
kirk_mccoy - title "The Captain and the Doctor" confused me in a Whovian way for a minute there, but is actually re Kirk and McCoy, yes
trek_news - newsletter, may potentially be making me obsolete here
chekov_sulu - lieutenants and ensigns need love too?
newtrekslash - unabashedly all about the reboot
spock_uhura - another of those "TOS and new movie!" things, with lots of reboot pictures everywhere, gee I wonder what inspired you
startrek2009 - comm for talking about the new movie

sineala posts about more comms, links to my linkspam, causing internet-ending paradoxes

More DW comms:
startrek_reboot
chris_pine_daily
singularity

silviakundera posts vid and fic recs.

ethrosdemon has criticism of JJ Abrams re: his interview on Talk of the Nation.

taraljc posts 10 things everyone should know about Star trek (before trying to write pr0n based on the new movie), including which episodes and books to check out.

Relatedly, cofax7 posts remedial Trek for newbies.

darthmojo@wordpress talks about a lot of deleted scenes and script choices based on a Q&A with the screenwriters Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci.

talitha78 made a vid called Poker Face.

ethrosdemon wants to know why we apply modern social norms to a story set centuries in the future.

apocalypsos spotted women in pants.

sparky77 has baby Chekov picspam.

sineala has telegram style squee.

grey_bard says, "I'm predisposed to like this movie because I liked original Trek and I universally hate Trek movies. Hold up, what?"

thedeadparrot found her love of classic K/S reinforced. She wrote about original flavor Spock.

Pro effects artist posted a combination of new and old Enterprise.

amireal fanwanks ST:ENT into/out of existence.

brokenbacktango found the IDIC.

ethrosdemon is amused at the summary of ST: Final Frontier.

bethos on a rewatching spree, in DS9.

ethrosdemon asks for ST links.

maryavatar has OMG OMG OMG for the movie.

theplaylist@blogspot's 9 Silly Things About Star Trek We Can't Help But Laugh At.

sineala was tempted by TOS episode DVDs.

sparky77 contemplates ST wingfic.

brokenbacktango informs us that Zachary Quinto will read you the novelization.

imadra_blue writes Sulu fic.

apocalypsos requests fic recs.

brokenbacktango found hilarious TAS clip.

quigonejinn liked the reboot, liked Vulcans and liiiiked Spock.

ann89103 fangirls and vents.

brokenbacktango with complaints on n00bs in the anon kink meme.

sfsignal asks if new ST movie will be good for science fiction in general.

kfmonkey@blogspot discusses revelatory vs transformative heroic arcs in hollywood scripts, Star Trek movie.

amireal would totally make out with Star Trek.

taraljc likes new Uhura, examines her role.

redscharlach is making mini icons.

sineala wrote Sulu/Chekov.

quigonejinn wrote Spock fic.

ellen_fremedon fanwanks the two Delta Vegas.

niqaeli has started rewatching TOS.

laurajv wrote fic about Spock and Sarek.

ingridmatthews likes the new pairing.

jmtorres wants to talk about specific references to TOS. LAZY-WEBBING FTW.

lizbee found Picard's scrapbook.

butterfly posts fic recs.

niqaeli talks about Kirk's special snowflake status.

niqaeli is rewatching TOS. If a science officer dies, is it still red-shirting?

niqaeli finds TOS Spock fascinatingly broken.

mecurtin has achieved star trekkin'.

ysobel (hi, love!) is totally not writing fic (and why not!). (Also in that entry: fanwank for making the macguffin more sensible.)

ysobel's first brush thoughts.

ysobel totally claimed to be half Vulcan as a child.

blueraccoon's exploding squee.

zvi is pissed about fic disappearing Uhura.

butterfly has a hotness deathmatch poll.

butterfly made a vid.

Wil Wheaton finds new movie spectacular.

Henry Jenkins was nearly a Klingon extra, part I and part II.

niqaeli points out the special of the stunned romulan on aisle 7 (broccoli test: pass with unexpected flying colors).

dayblaze wants slash recs.

niqaeli writes fic about Vulcan blood.

laurashapiro pissed off at 'bromance' rather than slash in mainstream media.

sarah was squeeful.

panthea has a comment re Kirk getting punched in the face.

niqaeli on obsessive tendencies.

niqaeli points to her delicious for ST fic finding.

io9 talks about a cut Shatner scene.

catalysticat wishes for more real space exploration, real military, real ethical, political, social, and religious issues.

abyssinia has a lot of problems with the new movie.

jooj has some links, especially re novels.

revolutionaryjo has fic recs.

seperis talks about the reboot, canonical AUS and how Trek and other shows have dealt with them in the past.

Wil Wheaton with embedded Onion video on how Trekkies bash new film as fun and watchable.

mecurtin, before having seen the movie, talked about the social and political milieu of the sixties vs now and Trek's relevance thereto.

Henry Jenkins with lots of interesting meta.

laurajv with 5 things you should know about (original flavor) Uhura and how awesome she is.

musesfool liked it! she even didn't hate Kirk!

zvi on dreamcasting women who didn't appear in this movie, in poll form.

Racialicious gives the movie a positive review despite some ridiculousness; thinks Uhura and Sulu did well in this version.

niqaeli has picspam of one of Karl Urban's previous roles. Prepare to giggle.

flourish understands where the K/S comes from now.

inarticulate is happy with Trek and with Uhura.

cesperanza questions casting a Korean as Sulu.

taraljc's star trek tag.

niqaeli is a bad person. She likes porn!.

niqaeli's love of space and science fiction and wanting it to be now.

butterfly's detailed list of adoration, re her third viewing.

minotaurs makes economic jokes out of the naming of Spock Prime.

niqaeli talks about Vulcan colonies and the nonexistence thereof.

niqaeli's early squee.



I WAS POTENTIALLY GOING TO POST MORE OF MY OWN REACTIONS BUT I HAVE TO GET OUT THE DOOR BY SIX TOMORROW MORNING TO CATCH A BUS SO I THINK I WILL SAVE MY ENERGY AND VID INSTEAD. Really, if I manage to get the vid done, vid should say every goddamn thing I want to say about this movie. Really.

Remaining episodes to clip: 6. Finished with the main Jill arc.

Season finale: GLEE CAPS. Some narrative concerns covered in GLEE CAPS. Also, does this still work for my vid?

The vid echan came up with this weekend and started clipping today: MORE DONE THAN MY VID. WTF WTF WTF.

Her boyfriend and I are entering a suicide pact over our inability to vid as fast as she does.