jmtorres: a flying sheep, which I am informed has special significance in World of Warcraft (meme)
(tell me someone's made that joke before.)

Leave the name of a character/person from a fandom you know I'm in, and I will tell you--

* How I FEEEEEL about this character
* All the people I ship romantically with this character
* My non-romantic OTP for this character -
* My unpopular opinion about this character
* One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

gakked from [personal profile] dira.

Feel free to drag out old fandoms.
jmtorres: Electric Mayhem: the Muppet Band's bus. (music)
Have you ever been listening to the radio and suddenly felt like the song was written for you personally for five seconds? When I was putting together this list I found myself realizing how much it says about my psyche and maybe also my generation. Like, I almost wish Imagine or something was on here, it seems loftier than *cough* some of these, but I grew up with Imagine, I never had a paradigm shift on it, it was just always there for me. These? These were really personal moments of impact.

Three song lyrics that meant the world to me:

I was made to believe there's something wrong with me, from Cold War by Janelle Monae

This was the line that made me want to write this entry. I wish I'd heard this years ago. I wish I'd heard it years before she even wrote it. I wish I'd heard it in high school. I don't know if I would have understood it, if I would have had the objectivity to get it, but this was something I struggled with, as a queer girl growing up: the sense that there was something wrong with the way I was, that didn't actually come from something being wrong with me but from something being wrong with society, that society was telling me you don't fit, you're a broken cog but it wasn't true, it was society being a broken machine. It's hard to see it the first time but it's so liberating when you do. If I could send this song back in time a dozen years to tiny me, I would.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

Okay, don't laugh at me, you folks.

I first heard this song--saw the music video, actually--during Lost Year II, The Flunk Out of Every Institution in the State Remix. We'll call it the Geographically Challenged Year. It was bad, but not quite as bad as my Lost Year, and part of the reason was this song.

I have chronic clinical depression. The Lost Year was the year I just went under to it, the Geographically Challenged Year was the year that I could admit--to myself, if no one else--that something was wrong. I burned some bridges figuring that out, but. It was better. A little.

You see, clinical depression is, 95% of the time, invisible to other people. You're tired or you're cranky or in a bad mood or whatever, you should just buck up and get over it. (You can't get over it, it goes on and on.) And it's so ingrained in our culture that the answer to "How are you?" is "I'm fine" at the best or "I'm okay" at the worst. If you say "I'm awesome!" people look at you kind of pityingly, like "I'm so sorry your company is asshats, at least they don't also make you wear flare?" If you say "I'm terrible," you really had better be bleeding to death, and even then, the temptation is to brush it off as "Just a flesh wound." And if anyone has any reason to suspect you're not really okay, that you're just giving the socially acceptable response, the thing to do is in fact to promise, to assure them that you're okay. Even more for women, I think, there's a negative stereotype of a the woman who complains, what a nag, what a hag she is, and no one wants to be that, right?

So for ages and ages I told everyone including myself that I was okay, when I wasn't, because I didn't know how to say anything else. It seems like such a small thing that this song deconstructs but I don't think any more sweeping statement would have had the same impact--if they had said "I'm depressed, my life sucks," well, that would have been the sort of sentiment you can get away with in emo music, right? But "I'm not okay, I promise," takes the thing you're supposed to say, with all its trappings, and says, "That is a social fiction. That is a lie."

Seven years later I can admit to myself when I'm not okay, and sometimes even to other people.

Sometimes even music cannot substitute for tears, from The Cool, Cool River by Paul Simon

This is off The Rhythm of the Saints, which may be one of my favorite albums of all time. What this line encapsulates for me is how the creative process comes out of deep emotions--for him, it's music; for me, it's fiction or film. You don't know how many times I've been jarred to realize that I'm putting myself down on paper at the safe distance of a character in a story. Sometimes it's enough, sometimes you can work through your issues at that distance and write something that's interesting to other people and we call that being inspired. And sometimes it's not enough, sometimes putting things at the safe distance of fuel for the creation engine is putting them too far away, sometimes the only way you can actually process is to own it in yourself. Sometimes even music cannot substitute for tears.
jmtorres: a flying sheep, which I am informed has special significance in World of Warcraft (meme)
Ask me a question about one of my stories or my approach to writing in general. It can be absolutely anything in any fic/general writing experience and I will tell you the honest-to-god answer. Don’t hold back. Anything. Whatever you ask, I will try my best to answer.

Meme time

Feb. 15th, 2011 01:43 am
jmtorres: a flying sheep, which I am informed has special significance in World of Warcraft (meme)
Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. With the variant from torch: Upon request, I will quote a random line from any of these files.

Roughly in order of most recently touched to hasn't been touched since 2003 with a small amount of by fandom (my WIP folder is actually sorted by fandom, so you know, the ones that only list one fandom and say 'crossover' are not meaningless in context. But also when I sorted by my recent date it was imperfect because I've had overlapping/longterm fandoms).

ivan and gregor
lady bel vorkosigan
secret agent ivan
the john and ruby show
The surfer dudes came up to the house...
Kurt's Dad Dies AU
studio60/trust me xover
Kryptonian Neal
Archer and T'Pol
rubyverse snippets
Ruby decides to set Dean up with the ...
Once, in the middle of a fight about ...
The Other 179 Steps
five AUs
The beginning was easy, mostly becaus...
superhero neal
"Man, I could go for some pie right a...
rubyverse outline
kitty MerlinShared
the once and future king
Chuck epic AU outline
epic AU sequel B
Chuck vs the Intersect, Once more with Feeling
Uther's ghost
Zoe A
jmtorres: a flying sheep, which I am informed has special significance in World of Warcraft (niqaeli: sheep)
I would like all my LJ/DW/inside-the-computer/imaginary friends to comment about how you got to know me. But I want you to LIE. That's right. Just make it up. If you'd like, copy this to your journal so others can do the same. (quoted from [personal profile] ysobel, whom I met in the Sonoran desert when she was separated from her coyote-watching tour).


Jan. 23rd, 2011 11:42 pm
jmtorres: Loki in dog form. Text: Yes? (question)
Does anyone want to play "what did juls make for [community profile] festivids?" You can guess multiple times, up to, oh, what seems reasonable, a dozen? But if you give me more than one guess at once I won't tell you which one is correct *G* (People on my festivids flailing filter are disqualified from playing, sorry.)

Prizes, prizes. Hmmm. A drabble in vid or written form, in a fandom I know, of your request.

Comments will be screened in case of correct guess, but incorrect guesses will be unscreened.
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
I've been passed the torch by [personal profile] alexseanchai.

a game of hangman with two incorrect guesses


Incorrect guesses: O, E

Winner: [personal profile] ide_cyan! Next round here.

(I want you to know that I considered but discarded the meanest thing I could think of, which has no vowels.)

Meme time

Jul. 30th, 2010 05:33 pm
jmtorres: a flying sheep, which I am informed has special significance in World of Warcraft (meme)
If you could chain me to a laptop and make me write any story you wanted, what would you choose?

If you could chain me to a laptop and make me vid any vid you wanted, what would you choose?


Jul. 23rd, 2010 02:51 pm
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
Tell me your favorite story I've never written. Summary, quotes, favorite bits, whatever you like.
jmtorres: Kermit and Miss Piggy's leg re-enact famous shot from film The Graduate. Text: crack-headed crossover. (crossover)
Does anyone want to guess what story I wrote for Remix Redux? Some sort of prize story or baked good for the winning guesser?

I pinch-hit for Remix rather than playing in full, but if anyone wants to do the other meme, the If You Could Remix Any Story Of Mine, Which Would You Choose meme, My stuff on AO3 (incomplete list), My stuff on delicious (incomplete list), I'm terribly curious what you'd do and why, and if you're bunnied like crazy, you know, go fo r it.

Id fic

May. 25th, 2010 10:33 am
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (coma girl)
Well. I am pretty sure I know where my id leaks out into fic (and that I've reduced the simmer time down from six months) but if anyone wants to discuss it with me, hey, I love talking about my id.


Apr. 26th, 2010 11:36 am
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
[personal profile] j_crew_guy is hosting a Thousand and one drabbles meme that I plan to participate in as soon as there's prompts in fandoms I recognize.
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
DVD Commentary Meme:

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 700 words) from any fanfic I've written (note: link goes to my delicious, which is the most complete list, but you're welcome to pick anything I've posted to my journal as well), and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic (fic series, fic universe), lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

love meme

Oct. 14th, 2009 03:25 pm
jmtorres: (love shack)
So this is maybe the fourth? fifth? time I've thrown my name in a love meme hat but it is the first time I've ever gotten a reply. And to think I had started to feel a little silly about it.

icon meme

Sep. 27th, 2009 10:25 pm
jmtorres: Purple boots. Love me, love my boots. (boots)
[personal profile] aris_tgd selected these icons of mine for me to talk about. If you would like me to do the same, pls comment.

Restrain America for the good of the world This is an image I screencapped from an episode of 7 Days, which was a trashy time travel show I enjoyed before the internet regularly pirated stuff, and which has never been released on DVD, which means the only copies circulating now are from Spike with a squished aspect ratio and cut for syndication. It might be a service to the internets if I capture my first-run VHS recordings. Or not. It really was a fairly trashy show. I'm easy when it comes to time travel stuff. Anyway, dude on the left tied to the car in nothing but his flag boxers is Frank Parker, our weekly time traveler. Those are his lucky boxers, given to him by dude on the right, Craig Donovan, who is, at this moment, saving his ass. Adorable slashy buddies, they are. It occurs to me that Frank and Donovan are former and current Navy SEALs, so I have a route to writing a crossover made in hell with NCIS. This icon was made during the Bush administration; I am not so often moved to use it anymore.

full body condom This one is Andy Warhol Mason Eckhart from Mutant X, a show I used to enjoy with [personal profile] j_crew_guy for like a season before there were bizarre cast changes and hair changes and really, all the cheesy goodness was eventually leached away. I mean, the plot was always bad? But it got worse. Eckhart is the nemesis-cum-ex-boyfriend of the team leader for the ensemble of not-X-men, Adam. Something horrible happened to Eckhart that he blames Adam for, which may or may not be true, I honestly forget how much of what happened we fanwanked and how much was revealed in seasons I don't consider canon and how much they just didn't say. Anyway, his immune system was shot to hell so he now wraps himself in Saran wrap on a daily basis. We always found this really, really kinky.

are you okay? you've been shot in the head The quote on this one is from a David Bowie song entitled "Seven Years in Tibet," and the character pictured is Creegan from the short-lived US version of Touching Evil, who has been shot in the head and has brain-damage related behavioral problems that make his take on fighting crime somewhat wacky. I adored the US version of this show--it was gorgeous--so much so that I have never gotten around to watching the UK version, which by all accounts is very different. For one thing, the US actor had a scar on his head, but on the other side of his head from the original character, so they rewrote how his damage manifested to be accurate to the new location. I vidded this fandom to this song, though the icon came first, if I recall correctly. I use this icon for emo whine entries a lot, and [personal profile] niqaeli made off with it as one to use when posting for me or when I'm hijacking her journal. (Likewise I have her kitten icon.)

it's not forbidden to be what you areThe image is from the cover of Moxy Früvous's final album, You Will Go To The Moon, the lyric from the song "Boo Time." This was one of those touchstones for me, the line it's not forbidden to be what you are, as a baby dyke coming into her own. This is one of my earliest icons, from way back when I started my (live)journal. You can see from how crap it is *G*

Tony Stark, Iron Maiden I modeled my version of Woman!Tony Stark off of Corky from the early Wachowski brothers (you know, the Matrix dudes) film Bound. I photoshopped it myself and somewhere there's a bigger copy but I'm not going to link to it because it was never intended to be more than an icon so it's kind of rough. I was writing a story to go with this that I never quite finished; I was in fact going to inflict the title "Iron Maiden" on it (Pepper snarked, "Maiden? You, ma'am?"). I'm trying to find an entertaining pull-quote, but while I outlined it fairly thoroughly, I didn't write out a lot of it. Tony Stark is pretty much the same as a woman but the world bends differently around her. For instance, when she gets back from Afghanistan she gets asked (in a well-meaning let-us-help-you way) if she was raped. And she's like HELLO ARC REACTOR IN MY CHEST, WHO GIVES A SHIT? Also I love Tony/Pepper a lot but for some reason it's like, ten times hotter if they're lesbians. Go figure.

*hides* Danny Tripp from Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip is terrified of his girlfriend, who is also his boss. This is one of my few animated icons, and also one someone else made! Gosh.


Aug. 27th, 2009 11:14 am
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
Meme ganked from [personal profile] daegaer: Dump first lines of your last ten stories into Translation Party, post results.

1. He dreams. On top of him and woke up with snakes. He is breathing hard. Sore throat.

2. Jim're bored. All his classes acing, he is without breaking a sweat, he has published in Starfleet Academy.

3. Our sun is a very Chuck. His list of all: Morgan Devonbiggumaiku, Morgan, Anna, Jefuresuta, Kodochito by his stage name of the video memory of my big day, they are interested can learn about the history of interest in the game .

4. Oral text: TAPESTUDY Emorikasutamu subject ALX - 972768 Reseune Copy: 9742 No, the content of the committee - the file is given to the 1768-2

5. "It's under my administration," was supposed to know that you can place your order Hornblower him.

6. 1 Kareen Vorbarra I, for example, at an appropriate time, the meeting was born the crown of the decedent.

7. Both citizens and children of immigrants Xingian Amestrian Sutetasudorahha The boy's mother, a father is born in the registry. He described the face of the Drach blood. Xingian blood, hair and eyes explains.

8. If the rest of the world, many of these people, only 3 Athosians 1 Rentarusuitoshotto will be expected to know the fate of.

9. "Donna", "Why, my destiny, NASA has, Fakusujoshu was discovered last week?"

10. She said, "13," he said, Martha, the captain said: "We called my cell phone - a big fight with him," and, in fact, I can have her cell phone was involved in his scale-Provence Mon. Lily is Teita slate my work phone number. He said he was looking for.
jmtorres: (River)
Somewhere or another there was a meme re: posting your favorite characters in ten fandoms and inviting your friends/subscribers to psychoanalyze you look for patterns in your picks. Instead I submit: ten pairings I really like. In no particular order.

T'Pol/Archer, Enterprise
Garak/Bashir, DS9
Chuck/Casey, Chuck
Gibbs/Tony, NCIS
Delta/JD, Howling (for those playing at home, that's a Ba'al clone and Jack's wee clone, in an AU of Stargate)
Grant/Justin, Cyteen (and very much in that order)
Roy/Hughes, Fullmetal Alchemist
Vlad/Kiera, Taltos novels
Leon/D, Petshop of Horrors
Dexter/Deb, Dexter

Well, flist? What can you discern? (I see: a high concentration of spies, a number of human/non-human pairings, and a gosh-awful amount of 2/3 of a threesome.)


May. 15th, 2003 11:25 pm
jmtorres: Beka touches Trance's face, Andromeda. do you ever...? (Drom)
Stolen from BtVS/AtS fandom at large. Also at AO3.

My Rhade )

My Tyr --spoilers through Day of Judgement, Day of Wrath )

Okay, that's all for now, folks. Maybe I'll hit some non-Nietzscheans tomorrow.


jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)

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