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My love for Enterprise is ridiculous
Jul. 5th, 2009 11:53 amSo I've said that if I ever made an Archer/T'Pol vid it would be like, 90% Archer's WTF face. They'll be going along slowly, feeling each other out and building trust with careful stubbornness like proper representatives of adversarial cultures and then all of the sudden T'Pol will cop to 1) being an individual 2) having a sense of humor and 3) either having been amused by something Archer said, or having pulled a practical joke on him. And then the facade slides back in place and Archer is left going, "Did that just happen?" (Like the time she spins this long yarn billed as factual about her great grandmother that Archer and Trip are going, "No way, did that really happen?" and she concludes with, "...you asked me to tell you a story." Archer's head is SIDEWAYS in wtf, I tell you. Or the time the Ferengi took over the ship, which despite being totally implausible from a timeline perspective is one of my favorite cracky this-is-a-holonovel episodes because Trip spends literally half the episode running around saving the ship in his underwear. Also Archer attempts to tell the Ferengi that T'Pol's not worth kidnapping, she's way too boring, no sense of humor, and T'Pol later gives him shit about claiming she had no sense of humor and refuses to unlock his handcuffs until he gets into the swing of the game and bribes her with the completely mythical gold the Ferengi have been after.)
Archer, T'Pol and Trip have dinner in Archer's ready room a lot, this is going to contribute to my threesome love I think. In any case! There is an episode that starts with wtf face. Archer is choking on his dinner and Trip is going, "Excuse me?" and when T'Pol starts to repeat what she said, they're like, "Nonono omg we HEARD YOU." Apparently she asked them if they were suffering from a lack of sexual activity. They ask why she would think so; she points out that if they followed frat regs, they haven't had sex in ten months.
(Time out to pat Enterprise on the head for having frat regs. Those poor bastards, none of the other Treks did.)
Trip points out that T'Pol is not subject to Starfleet's frat regs (why I do not know, she subject to things like chain of command, you'd think that would be a related issue) and how is her sex life doing? T'Pol replies that Vulcans only have sex every seven years. Thereby shooting down their hopes that her inquiry was an offer. But Archer keeps bugging her about why she's so interested and her reply is that she understands the human mating ritual is supposed to relieve stress, and their efficiency ratings are down three percent. They need an optimally efficient captain, clearly he needs to do sex.
Which is why she has picked out a planet for them to visit for shore leave. At this point I am going, "Risa? The way this episode has been going it has to be Risa." Sure enough it is Risa. T'Pol hilariously informs them that she selected it as a shore leave planet for its pristine beaches. Archer asks if it is populated, at which point the truth comes out, for T'Pol admits that the population is humanoid and quite willing to help relieve stress.
This is canon, yo, for varying values of canon. Mind you, they do not get to Risa in this episode, they spend the next three episodes taking detours and answering distress calls, but opening every episode with "we were on our way to Risa when..." so I choose to take the fact that they get there in the end as proof of T'Pol's stubbornness on the getting-the-captain-laid plan. When they finally get there Archer is all guilty about going down when half the crew has to stay aboard. T'Pol points out that there was a lottery and he had the same chance as anyone else, which I choose to read as T'Pol rigged that sucker because by Surak's big toe she was getting the captain laid.
Speaking of Surak, she arranges to have a present waiting for Archer in his villa by the sea on Risa. You just see the note first, it says "For relaxation." I half-expected it to be a horga'hn, the Risian symbol of fertility that you display as an invitation to casual sex (ie the souvenir Riker asked Picard to pick up for him without explaining what it was so that Picard was fending off hot girls for days and cursing Riker's name when he found out). But no. T'Pol sent Archer a copy of the philosophy of Surak. Honestly for that to have any relevance to T'Pol's averred interest in getting the captain laid for his own good, I think the unexpurgated Surak must have some choice bits on My Vulcan Brethren, When Your Time Is Upon You, You Must Embrace Your Sexuality For It Is Illogical To Die Rather Than To Have Sex. Not that most humans have ever seen unexpurgated Surak and Archer may be rather surprised if he ever compares his copy to the standard library editions back on Earth.
*SQUISH* I love them so.
Archer, T'Pol and Trip have dinner in Archer's ready room a lot, this is going to contribute to my threesome love I think. In any case! There is an episode that starts with wtf face. Archer is choking on his dinner and Trip is going, "Excuse me?" and when T'Pol starts to repeat what she said, they're like, "Nonono omg we HEARD YOU." Apparently she asked them if they were suffering from a lack of sexual activity. They ask why she would think so; she points out that if they followed frat regs, they haven't had sex in ten months.
(Time out to pat Enterprise on the head for having frat regs. Those poor bastards, none of the other Treks did.)
Trip points out that T'Pol is not subject to Starfleet's frat regs (why I do not know, she subject to things like chain of command, you'd think that would be a related issue) and how is her sex life doing? T'Pol replies that Vulcans only have sex every seven years. Thereby shooting down their hopes that her inquiry was an offer. But Archer keeps bugging her about why she's so interested and her reply is that she understands the human mating ritual is supposed to relieve stress, and their efficiency ratings are down three percent. They need an optimally efficient captain, clearly he needs to do sex.
Which is why she has picked out a planet for them to visit for shore leave. At this point I am going, "Risa? The way this episode has been going it has to be Risa." Sure enough it is Risa. T'Pol hilariously informs them that she selected it as a shore leave planet for its pristine beaches. Archer asks if it is populated, at which point the truth comes out, for T'Pol admits that the population is humanoid and quite willing to help relieve stress.
This is canon, yo, for varying values of canon. Mind you, they do not get to Risa in this episode, they spend the next three episodes taking detours and answering distress calls, but opening every episode with "we were on our way to Risa when..." so I choose to take the fact that they get there in the end as proof of T'Pol's stubbornness on the getting-the-captain-laid plan. When they finally get there Archer is all guilty about going down when half the crew has to stay aboard. T'Pol points out that there was a lottery and he had the same chance as anyone else, which I choose to read as T'Pol rigged that sucker because by Surak's big toe she was getting the captain laid.
Speaking of Surak, she arranges to have a present waiting for Archer in his villa by the sea on Risa. You just see the note first, it says "For relaxation." I half-expected it to be a horga'hn, the Risian symbol of fertility that you display as an invitation to casual sex (ie the souvenir Riker asked Picard to pick up for him without explaining what it was so that Picard was fending off hot girls for days and cursing Riker's name when he found out). But no. T'Pol sent Archer a copy of the philosophy of Surak. Honestly for that to have any relevance to T'Pol's averred interest in getting the captain laid for his own good, I think the unexpurgated Surak must have some choice bits on My Vulcan Brethren, When Your Time Is Upon You, You Must Embrace Your Sexuality For It Is Illogical To Die Rather Than To Have Sex. Not that most humans have ever seen unexpurgated Surak and Archer may be rather surprised if he ever compares his copy to the standard library editions back on Earth.
*SQUISH* I love them so.
