jmtorres: TOS Spock leans face on hand, has mild eyebrow raise. Text: seeking internally consistent logic since 1966 (trek)
jmtorres ([personal profile] jmtorres) wrote2009-05-24 01:51 am

Star Trek Reboot Fic: The Ex-Wife

The Ex-Wife
(Because there's really no reason to assume McCoy's marriage was the same as in Prime.)



Jim is bored. He's been at Starfleet Academy a month and he's acing all his classes without breaking a sweat. Uhura still won't give him the time of day or her first name. There's other fish in the sea but even that's gotten a little repetitive: it's kind of startling, actually, how easy it is to get laid on this campus. High stress environment, simple relief. Jim is a little worried that he's going to forget how to charm.

But mostly Jim is bored because he's finished all his homework (the stuff that matters, anyway, he stopped doing the exercises for warp calculations because he can do them in his sleep and the professor never collects) and McCoy hasn't. McCoy is still working on his homework and Jim is sprawled sideways across his bed because McCoy promised they'd go out tonight, only McCoy doesn't know when to put down the PADD and go have some fun.

"I'm bored," Jim announces. He pushes up on his elbow to watch McCoy's back.

"You could go without me," McCoy suggests.

"I don't want to drink alone," says Jim.

McCoy snorts, but doesn't look up. "Doubt you'd be alone for long."

"But I wouldn't be with my best friend in the whole wide world," Jim insists, flopping back on the bed.

It's then that McCoy's computer chirps sweetly, "Incoming call."

Whoever's on the line makes McCoy mutter, "Oh hell," but he takes the call without kicking Jim out so it must not be that big a deal. Jim rolls over on his stomach with his arms folded under his chin to watch, wondering who this guy is. He seems upset that McCoy has fucked off to Starfleet. Brother, maybe? Really, really fey brother? Jim knows he shouldn't judge a man by his lisp, but--

McCoy says, "What the hell business is it of yours? We're not married anymore," and hangs up.

Jim blinks.

"Jesus," McCoy mutters.

"You," Jim accuses. "You said wife."

"Huh?" McCoy says, swinging his desk chair around. "Ex-wife. That was her."

Jim scrambles up to sitting, halfway ready to jump off the bed. "Wife. That was a guy, Bones."

McCoy stares at him. He still seems confused, but also wary now. "And what's your goddamn problem with that? You're not particular."

Which is true, if totally beside the point. "You lied to me!" Jim says.

"I married the biggest, bitchiest queen on the planet," McCoy says. "I didn't call 'er my husband the entire time we were together, why would I start now?"

"But I didn't know that!" Jim says. "You never told me that. There was no context! You let me think you were straight."

"So?" McCoy asks. "What difference does it make?"

Jim opens his mouth and says something he didn't entirely mean to let out. "I've been refraining from hitting on you because I thought you were straight."

"When has that ever stopped you?" McCoy asks.

"I was trying to be a nice guy!" Jim protests.

McCoy turns back to his desk, shaking his head, but he also mutters, "Idiot," in what Jim has come to recognize as fond annoyance, so he figures they're all right.

Jim lies down again, chin in his hands, and makes himself relax. McCoy keeps working and ignoring him. Jim bites his lip, thinks: what the hell, that was practically an invitation; says softly: "So, hey."

"Yeah?" McCoy asks over his shoulder.

"You wanna go get a drink with me?"

"Hell no," McCoy says.

"Oh," Jim says. He really has lost it. He can't even get a date from his best friend.

"I keep telling you, I've got another essay to write after this," McCoy goes on, "and a drink's not gonna make that any easier. Tell you what, though, take your clothes off and I'll fuck you when I'm done with this problem set."

"Oh," Jim says again, this time surprised. Keep up, Jim, he thinks: you have lost it, asking him out for drinks when that's what you were going to do anyway. But that's all right. At least McCoy's on the ball here. "Okay," Jim says, grinning, because really, McCoy has a much better plan.

---
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grey_bard: (Default)

[personal profile] grey_bard 2009-05-24 10:14 am (UTC)(link)
Ahahahahah.

Yes. McCoy is *exactly* the type to refer to a queeny boyfriend / husband / ex as "her" and "wife" as a matter of *habit* and not even notice.
Edited 2009-05-24 10:14 (UTC)
order_of_chaos: Mine, mine, allll mine.  I made it. (Almonds)

[personal profile] order_of_chaos 2009-05-24 10:47 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! And, also: squee!

Adorable, amusing, and makes far too much sense.
merrily: Mac (Default)

[personal profile] merrily 2009-05-24 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
That was great, especially the last two paragraphs. BONES. (Also, that makes his nickname even more awesome.)
inarticulate: Ginshu from Amatsuki smiling. (come up from the dark without you)

[personal profile] inarticulate 2009-05-24 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
"I married the biggest, bitchiest queen on the planet," McCoy says. "I didn't call 'er my husband the entire time we were together, why would I start now?"

Hahahaha yes. ♥ That is such a McCoy thing to do, and Kirk is so cute, and and ♥
mpoetess: (Default)

[personal profile] mpoetess 2009-05-24 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh God, <3. So very <3
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[personal profile] niqaeli 2009-05-24 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Heeee. <3.

(I am kind of bitter that I will not be able to work on my meta post of long at all at work today. My brain will not shut the fuck up and I want it ooooout.)
verstehen: (Do I make you horny? (Karl Urban))

[personal profile] verstehen 2009-05-24 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
<3 <3 <3

For a minute there, I thought you were going to go with FTM, but, you know, I like this better.
sineala: Detail of The Unicorn in Captivity, from The Hunt of the Unicorn Tapestry (Default)

[personal profile] sineala 2009-05-24 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Bwah. Awesomeness.
tammylee: (Default)

[personal profile] tammylee 2009-05-24 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Eee! Brilliant! This is now my official canon. =p
The thought of snarky, grumbly Leonard McCoy married to a bitchy queen makes me grin from ear to ear. I can see it so clearly!

I like it better than him being married to a female; one because it's not so misogynistic and two because it makes his character even more interesting to me.

Great work!
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[personal profile] emyrys 2009-05-24 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh. This was great :-).
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[personal profile] grlnamedlucifer 2009-05-24 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahahaha I'm totally gonna make this my canon. Love it!
tatterdemalionkit: (diaf!)

[personal profile] tatterdemalionkit 2009-05-24 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
oh, Bones. This is awesome. :D
tinpantithesis: Karl Urban giving the Vulcan salute. (mccoy love)

[personal profile] tinpantithesis 2009-05-24 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this was very sweet. Irritated!Bones sure has his priorities in order.
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[personal profile] azurelunatic 2009-05-24 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
*snerk* I like this.
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[personal profile] kanzenhanzai 2009-05-25 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
Hahaha! That's fantastic *g*
farwing: (Default)

[personal profile] farwing 2009-05-25 12:56 pm (UTC)(link)
This is amazing. *exits giggling*
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[personal profile] oxoniensis 2009-05-25 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee, I loved it!

[personal profile] weevil 2009-05-25 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahahaha! So Bones. And what a fabulous idea! I definitely need to do less assuming.
bankai: (Default)

[personal profile] bankai 2009-05-26 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahaha, I was not expecting this fic to be this awesome. Excellent job!
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[personal profile] sprocket 2009-05-30 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
This is not what I was expecting and I am totally okay with that. (I think my head broke a little.)

"I keep telling you, I've got another essay to write after this," McCoy goes on, "and a drink's not gonna make that any easier. Tell you what, though, take your clothes off and I'll fuck you when I'm done with this problem set."

Awwww. It's like the anti-romance; it makes me gooey inside with the affection by mean, brutal honesty.
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[personal profile] roga 2009-05-31 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahaha awesome.

[identity profile] graceandfire.livejournal.com 2009-05-31 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah hah hah! That was awesome. I love that Jim is offended because he went through the effort of not hitting on McCoy out of respect for McCoy's straightness and that's pretty much the only reason he's offended.
inkjunket: (gway heart)

[personal profile] inkjunket 2009-06-04 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my ♥ - just got home from watching the movie a second time and this was exactly, perfectly and wonderfully, what I wanted to read so badly.
petra: Barbara Gordon smiling knowingly (Default)

[personal profile] petra 2009-06-06 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Aww!
fairestcat: Dreadful the cat (Default)

[personal profile] fairestcat 2009-06-09 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
HEEEE!

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