Codified anti-stick law

[jmtorres]

This law is intended to prevent the use of virtual weapons or threats as goads to cause jmtorres to work on any particular project. jmtorres dislikes this practice so intensely that such threats are more likely to cause her to delete all files relating to the project over which she has been threatened than to work on it, but because no one seemed to understand this, jmtorres stated she would ban users who did so, and then did.

The original law was aimed mostly and sharp and/or pointy sticks, as this was the most common weapon. (The only acceptable reason for carrying pointy sticks is with intent to build a really little fence.) This law now covers any object which is commonly held in public opinion to be a weapon (gun, knife, sword, candlestick, etc) or an object specifically stated to be a weapon or instrument of pain, torture or annoyance--including spoons, ladyvyola. kernezelda said something about eating my brain out with a spoon awhile back, so spoons are right out. (There is no acceptable reason for having a spoon. There is no spoon.)

Final judgement on what objects violate this law rests with jmtorres. If you are unsure, ask.

Readers are not permitted to use any such objects on jmtorres, nor threaten to use any such objects on jmtorres, nor carry them on her journal. jmtorres cannot police the carrying of such objects on other journals, but if she is threatened or attacked in the comments of another journal, she will still ban the person doing the threatening or attacking from commenting in her own journal.

People who for some reason still do not take this seriously WILL be banned from commenting in this journal for an amount of time to be determined by jmtorres.

Banning does not automatically mean jmtorres hates you. jmtorres has a hatred of sticks and other prods that no one seems to take seriously, but does not generally hate the wielder. Here are some examples of what various lengths of banning mean, in combination with other measures:

• banning for one week--jmtorres still likes you but would really like you to cut it out.
  
• banning for a month--jmtorres is really pretty frustrated with you, actually, but expects to have cooled off after some time apart.
  
• banning for any length of time + turning off anonymous commenting--jmtorres is not interested in your excuses and would like you to shut up now.
  
• permanent banning + removal from access list--fuck off and die.

All sentences will be declared at time of sentencing, although jmtorres reserves the right to increase any sentence due to continued annoyance.


Am I aware veritykindle was joking? Yes. Did I ban her anyway? You bet your ass I did. Am I aware she did not know of the original anti-stick post at the time she made her comment? No. However, I would not have granted any further leniency for it. veritykindle has the unfortunate fate of being made my example. I said the next person to do it would be banned, and I banned the next person to do it.

Honestly, kids, didn't your moms ever tell you you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?

Comments

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

I know you don't mean for this to be funny, but it really, really is. It's kind of like public spectacle. Actually - that's exactly what it is.

I feel your pain, however. Your hatred of pointy sticks has to equal my hatred of the words, "So, where's the sequel?" Fortunately, a friend of mine came up with a handy acronym for this situation: AMFASAIWBYL. It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but the meaning is worth it: Ask Me For a Sequel and I Will Break Your Legs.

Just to clarify, are we to take the last line to mean that you will entertain offers of bribery for preferred projects, as in, "If you work on X project, I'll send you virtual fudge/cookies/single malt scotch?" Because I've gotta say, the result is essentially the same: being pestered for fic/vids/etc. Is it the pestering that bugs you, or specifically the weilding of weapons? Would it be different if they were offers of real fudge/cookies/single malt scotch? That would be a unique method of receiving "payment" for your fannish productions. Would we have to put that in the disclaimer?

*wanders off to ponder such things*

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

I know you don't mean for this to be funny, but it really, really is. It's kind of like public spectacle. Actually - that's exactly what it is.

I'm completely aware of this. There's a level of ridiculousness in the fact that I have to make this much of a fuss about not being threatened in my own journal to get people to cut it out.

I know it's inane, and ludicrous, and probably really gut-bustingly funny to everyone else. But I'm *this* close to privatizing every last entry in my journal, taking down my website, and going home.

Is it the pestering that bugs you, or specifically the weilding of weapons?

I'm not averse to bribes of a virtual (or real) nature. I don't even mind people saying, "I like that--will you write more?" without offering me anything for it. It is, in fact, specifically the weapons and threats I dislike. The difference I see is that the one shows appreciation whereas the other shows a complete disregard for me as a person, and my repeatedly and strongly stated wishes.

And I shall never ask you for a sequel. *g*

Re: there are ways to say things and then there are ways NOT to say things

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

So - in summary and in comparison - there are ways to be nice and say how your work is enjoyed and we look forward to more as and when, as opposed to being threatened or attacked.

Yes! And I shouldn't even have to make this big a fuss to get people to think about their phrasing.

(And apparently, according to F_W, I'm stuck up for not appreciating every piece of feedback I recieve, no matter what its phrasing. I should just stop reading, really I should...)

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

Aw. *hugs*

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thanks.

[j-crew-guy.livejournal.com]

*hugs and loves*

I'd throw in some groping, but there's that whole girls are icky thing. *g*

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

*cracking up* Backatcha, you icky boy-thing you.

[elke-tanzer.livejournal.com]

*quietly leaves a plate of virtual chocolate-dipped strawberries at the front gate to your LJ and tiptoes away*

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

Holy crap, you people are leaving the good stuff. Did you want to ask for anything in particular? 'cause, *licking fingers* damn that'd be a good bribe.

[kernezelda]

What if you're an avid Tick fan, and your favored battle cry is "Spoon!"?

OK, I'm sorry. I'll go away now.

[jcalanthe]

See, I think you're missing the point, which is that she doesn't want battle cries in her journal. I suspect that if you were rushing to her defense, they'd be ok, but she'd have to confirm this.

[simplelyric.livejournal.com]

::shows empty hands, palms-up, and offers a backrub::

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

offers a backrub

Are suggesting I'm tense!?!?

Okay, so I am, a little.

[inarticulate.livejournal.com]

I guess the Comfy Chair is out, too. *throws it out a window*

Is it the pointy sticks/random weaponry specifically, or is it, "So, whens the next part?" "So, where's the sequel?" attitude in general that I saw mentioned above? Both imply a certain level of impatience, I guess, unless they've been asked for.

And... eating your brain with a spoon? ...raw? Eeew.

Hope this works. =)

[inarticulate.livejournal.com]

And, after having read the post in question, I apologize about the Comfy Chair. The post just immediately called Monty Python to mind, and, well... yeah.

[deslea.livejournal.com]

I sympathise.

I have been known to poke, but only really close friends with whom we have a comfort zone to take Liberties. Because it is a liberty - phrased that way, it's a mentality of entitlement, and it bugs me.

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

but only really close friends with whom we have a comfort zone to take Liberties.

And of course all my close friends have been joking around with me about it when I'm like, "No, you don't get it, I know it wasn't you to start off with but I am so serious, I'll ban you too." Because apparently it's inherently funny.

Ahem.

*sigh*

It's an issue for me right now. I think there's one person on the face of the Earth that could poke me without be blowing up at this particular moment, and she's being a dear and petting me instead.

[cadetdru.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I understand, and I do take you seriously.

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

Well, sometimes you do, anyway. *hugs back*

[cloudtrader.livejournal.com]

Just to be sure on this -- dildos are banned, too, event though they're not specifically mentioned and aren't actually weapons?

[kernezelda]

I suppose they could be weapons, depending on their, er, size and material composition.

Hahah. Full of yourself much?

[tephra.livejournal.com]

Ooo! Ooo! OOO! Ban me, bitch! Ban meeeee!!! *sniff* ifeelsounloved.

Re: Hahah. Full of yourself much?

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

Sure, why not? I don't know you and I don't care to, since the first thing you decided to do was introduce yourself by trolling. Great. You're banned. Goodbye.

[lexcorp-hope.livejournal.com]

I hate pointy sticks, I feel your pain. *hugs*

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *hugs back*

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Makes total sense to me. No one should be poked with anything unless they want to be.

*hugs*

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

No pointy sticks here. That's in the hands of my ST beta who has permission to use it on me. (I'm slow with my ST)

You're brilliant, funny, and I feel your pain/pressure.
I also know you from FFN-Slashers-Unite list.

::Drops off the Death by Chocolate and wanders off::

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

I also know you from FFN-Slashers-Unite list.

Oh, man... *that* was a long time ago. Hi!

You're brilliant, funny, and I feel your pain/pressure.

Thank you.

[boniblithe.livejournal.com]

*hides pointy stick*

I don't know what you are talking about.

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, did you miss the point?

I've banned you for a week.

followed a thread

[(Anonymous)]

haven't read the other comments.. but it reaqlly sounds like you don't respond well to constructive criticism nor partake of a any form of beta reader.

if you don't want people asking about your stuff.. or requesting it. then don't flipping bother ok?

Re: followed a thread

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

Yes, I do have beta readers. I listen to them.

My response to constructive criticism is generally defensive. I recognize this as a flaw in myself and am trying to overcome it.

However: pointy sticks are not constructive criticism.

if you don't want people asking about your stuff.. or requesting it. then don't flipping bother ok?

You don't have the right to tell me not to write. You have the right not to read my writing if you feel I write shit and can't take any advice about. If you don't want to read me, don't. It's that simple.

I have a hard time take this comment seriously considering that it lacks proper capitalization and punctuation, and is unsigned. And *I* need to get a beta reader or shut up? Right.

Spike!

[cobwebsky.livejournal.com]

Um, but what if there's a really, really awful vampire. Then little pointy sticks are ok surely? I'm just saying ...

Re: Spike!

[jmtorres.livejournal.com]

...basically? Never okay. This is not a joke.

[muppetk.livejournal.com]

Y'know... there are some really dumb people out there. I find it amazing that people could take offense at this totally reasonable, amazingly humorously-worded request. (Seriously, I find myself tempted to wax eloquent on the topic of removing violence from spoken interactions... but that'd just be a wee bit too pretentious-academic for me. And besides, I don't think I can manage eloquent before breakfast.)

I hope you at least enjoyed writing this post as much as I enjoyed reading it!

*leaves small offering of fudge, on principle*

[brokenbacktango]

This law now covers any object which is commonly held in public opinion to be a weapon (gun, knife, sword, candlestick, etc)

I have to admit, I'm wondering under what context a candlestick would be used as a weapon. When I brainstorm ideas things get inappropriate really fast and I hope someone didn't actually say something like that to you "in jest." However, if your initial comment about the candlestick was actually a joke... hehe, well, you got me ;)

Anyway, I completely understand this law. It's kind of silly that other people are getting defensive about this. This is your journal and it's about your comfort first; I'm proud that you're standing up for yourself and sticking by what you say. I realize this entry is years old now but I hope that it's become less of a problem over time.

[jmtorres]

Candlestick totally == Clue.

[dreamatdrew]

I promise, I has not a single stick handy.
But, I has a question re: "(The only acceptable reason for carrying pointy sticks is with intent to build a really little fence.)"

What about if one is planning to make smores? With real roasted-over-fire marshmallows?

[jmtorres]

Clearly Xander lacked your creativity.