jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (hatred)
jmtorres ([personal profile] jmtorres) wrote2003-07-30 09:41 am

Codified anti-stick law

This law is intended to prevent the use of virtual weapons or threats as goads to cause [personal profile] jmtorres to work on any particular project. [personal profile] jmtorres dislikes this practice so intensely that such threats are more likely to cause her to delete all files relating to the project over which she has been threatened than to work on it, but because no one seemed to understand this, [personal profile] jmtorres stated she would ban users who did so, and then did.

The original law was aimed mostly and sharp and/or pointy sticks, as this was the most common weapon. (The only acceptable reason for carrying pointy sticks is with intent to build a really little fence.) This law now covers any object which is commonly held in public opinion to be a weapon (gun, knife, sword, candlestick, etc) or an object specifically stated to be a weapon or instrument of pain, torture or annoyance--including spoons, [livejournal.com profile] ladyvyola. [livejournal.com profile] kernezelda said something about eating my brain out with a spoon awhile back, so spoons are right out. (There is no acceptable reason for having a spoon. There is no spoon.)

Final judgement on what objects violate this law rests with [personal profile] jmtorres. If you are unsure, ask.

Readers are not permitted to use any such objects on [personal profile] jmtorres, nor threaten to use any such objects on [personal profile] jmtorres, nor carry them on her journal. [personal profile] jmtorres cannot police the carrying of such objects on other journals, but if she is threatened or attacked in the comments of another journal, she will still ban the person doing the threatening or attacking from commenting in her own journal.

People who for some reason still do not take this seriously WILL be banned from commenting in this journal for an amount of time to be determined by [personal profile] jmtorres.

Banning does not automatically mean [personal profile] jmtorres hates you. [personal profile] jmtorres has a hatred of sticks and other prods that no one seems to take seriously, but does not generally hate the wielder. Here are some examples of what various lengths of banning mean, in combination with other measures:

  • banning for one week--[personal profile] jmtorres still likes you but would really like you to cut it out.
  • banning for a month--[personal profile] jmtorres is really pretty frustrated with you, actually, but expects to have cooled off after some time apart.
  • banning for any length of time + turning off anonymous commenting--[personal profile] jmtorres is not interested in your excuses and would like you to shut up now.
  • permanent banning + removal from access list--fuck off and die.


All sentences will be declared at time of sentencing, although [personal profile] jmtorres reserves the right to increase any sentence due to continued annoyance.



Am I aware [livejournal.com profile] veritykindle was joking? Yes. Did I ban her anyway? You bet your ass I did. Am I aware she did not know of the original anti-stick post at the time she made her comment? No. However, I would not have granted any further leniency for it. [livejournal.com profile] veritykindle has the unfortunate fate of being made my example. I said the next person to do it would be banned, and I banned the next person to do it.

Honestly, kids, didn't your moms ever tell you you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?

[identity profile] fourteenlines.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 10:26 am (UTC)(link)
I know you don't mean for this to be funny, but it really, really is. It's kind of like public spectacle. Actually - that's exactly what it is.

I feel your pain, however. Your hatred of pointy sticks has to equal my hatred of the words, "So, where's the sequel?" Fortunately, a friend of mine came up with a handy acronym for this situation: AMFASAIWBYL. It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but the meaning is worth it: Ask Me For a Sequel and I Will Break Your Legs.

Just to clarify, are we to take the last line to mean that you will entertain offers of bribery for preferred projects, as in, "If you work on X project, I'll send you virtual fudge/cookies/single malt scotch?" Because I've gotta say, the result is essentially the same: being pestered for fic/vids/etc. Is it the pestering that bugs you, or specifically the weilding of weapons? Would it be different if they were offers of real fudge/cookies/single malt scotch? That would be a unique method of receiving "payment" for your fannish productions. Would we have to put that in the disclaimer?

*wanders off to ponder such things*

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 10:35 am (UTC)(link)
I know you don't mean for this to be funny, but it really, really is. It's kind of like public spectacle. Actually - that's exactly what it is.

I'm completely aware of this. There's a level of ridiculousness in the fact that I have to make this much of a fuss about not being threatened in my own journal to get people to cut it out.

I know it's inane, and ludicrous, and probably really gut-bustingly funny to everyone else. But I'm *this* close to privatizing every last entry in my journal, taking down my website, and going home.

Is it the pestering that bugs you, or specifically the weilding of weapons?

I'm not averse to bribes of a virtual (or real) nature. I don't even mind people saying, "I like that--will you write more?" without offering me anything for it. It is, in fact, specifically the weapons and threats I dislike. The difference I see is that the one shows appreciation whereas the other shows a complete disregard for me as a person, and my repeatedly and strongly stated wishes.

And I shall never ask you for a sequel. *g*

[identity profile] fourteenlines.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 10:57 am (UTC)(link)
I think you're right, to an extent. Fandom has gotten in the habit of poking people with pointy sticks, without regard to what this actually means. Or how inconsiderate it can be. A lot of people don't mind, or think it's funny, but everyone reserves the right NOT to think it's funny or okay.

For example, it's not the idea that someone might like my story and wants to see more of it that bugs me. It's two things, really. The first is the suggestion that stories are like gumballs: you insert the coin, turn the crank, and out it comes. The second is that sometimes a request for a sequel completely invalidates a story, because it was purposefully left up in the air, and if someone didn't get that, they're either not my target audience or I've failed as a writer. Or both.

It took several strongly-worded statements on a specific mailing list, but eventually people did stop asking me for sequels, if that's any encouragement.

[identity profile] ide-cyan.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 11:23 am (UTC)(link)
Aw. *hugs*

[identity profile] j-crew-guy.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs and loves*

I'd throw in some groping, but there's that whole girls are icky thing. *g*

[identity profile] elke-tanzer.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
*quietly leaves a plate of virtual chocolate-dipped strawberries at the front gate to your LJ and tiptoes away*
kernezelda: (Default)

[personal profile] kernezelda 2003-07-30 12:33 pm (UTC)(link)
What if you're an avid Tick fan, and your favored battle cry is "Spoon!"?

OK, I'm sorry. I'll go away now.
ext_21819: (Default)

[identity profile] simplelyric.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 01:00 pm (UTC)(link)
::shows empty hands, palms-up, and offers a backrub::

[identity profile] inarticulate.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 01:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I guess the Comfy Chair is out, too. *throws it out a window*

Is it the pointy sticks/random weaponry specifically, or is it, "So, whens the next part?" "So, where's the sequel?" attitude in general that I saw mentioned above? Both imply a certain level of impatience, I guess, unless they've been asked for.

And... eating your brain with a spoon? ...raw? Eeew.

Hope this works. =)

[identity profile] deslea.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I sympathise.

I have been known to poke, but only really close friends with whom we have a comfort zone to take Liberties. Because it is a liberty - phrased that way, it's a mentality of entitlement, and it bugs me.

[identity profile] inarticulate.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 01:53 pm (UTC)(link)
And, after having read the post in question, I apologize about the Comfy Chair. The post just immediately called Monty Python to mind, and, well... yeah.
jcalanthe: locke sitting on a beach (Default)

[personal profile] jcalanthe 2003-07-30 02:15 pm (UTC)(link)
See, I think you're missing the point, which is that she doesn't want battle cries in her journal. I suspect that if you were rushing to her defense, they'd be ok, but she'd have to confirm this.

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
The first is the suggestion that stories are like gumballs: you insert the coin, turn the crank, and out it comes.

Yep, definitely a simplification of the transaction...

I think the really insulting thing is not the idea that stories are gumballs, but that writers are gumball machines. We don't have a hundred finished stories inside us locked away just to tease and force the expenditure of quarters. We're more like gumball factories--we have to take the raw materials and make the gumballs. And they're special gumballs, each one different, so we can only do them one at a time, not assembly line fashion.

I'm taking this whole gumball thing way too far.

The second is that sometimes a request for a sequel completely invalidates a story, because it was purposefully left up in the air, and if someone didn't get that, they're either not my target audience or I've failed as a writer. Or both.

Yeah, it's the lady, or it's the tiger, and I'm not telling you which, that's the point. Get over it...

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs back* Thanks.

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
*cracking up* Backatcha, you icky boy-thing you.

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Holy crap, you people are leaving the good stuff. Did you want to ask for anything in particular? 'cause, *licking fingers* damn that'd be a good bribe.

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I'll try to refrain from bringing up Tick (this should be easy as I've never seen it) and you try to refrain from turning my journal into a battle zone, okay?

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:22 pm (UTC)(link)
offers a backrub

Are suggesting I'm tense!?!?

Okay, so I am, a little.

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm comfortable with being asked politely if I'm going to write more. I just don't want to be browbeaten into it.

And... eating your brain with a spoon? ...raw? Eeew.

It's a whole... Scorpius thing. I think. Or maybe she's just scary. I'm kinda scared of her.

[identity profile] elke-tanzer.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Nope, I'm just hoping you feel better soon.

*tiptoes away again, leaving a tray of virtual raspberry crepes dusted with powdered sugar*

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
but only really close friends with whom we have a comfort zone to take Liberties.

And of course all my close friends have been joking around with me about it when I'm like, "No, you don't get it, I know it wasn't you to start off with but I am so serious, I'll ban you too." Because apparently it's inherently funny.

Ahem.

*sigh*

It's an issue for me right now. I think there's one person on the face of the Earth that could poke me without be blowing up at this particular moment, and she's being a dear and petting me instead.

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
And, after having read the post in question, I apologize about the Comfy Chair.

This is probably hypocritical of me, but the comfy chair didn't elicit the big reaction. Sticks are apparently my big trigger. And I read your original comment as more along the lines of a "is this allowed? no?" query, which I did invite in this post. But yeah, no comfy chair torture, please.

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I really think my journal should be a battle-free zone wherever possible. Debate is cool, but you know the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me"? While overly simplistic, let's keep it in mind. Sticks = bad. Words = good.

And I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. I can and will ban people, have I made that clear yet?

[identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Aww. *hugs* about the Arrrchive, by the way. Hope that gets worked out without being terribly painful.

[identity profile] elke-tanzer.livejournal.com 2003-07-30 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. Honestly, we ought to be able to sort things out... the trick is going to be that the hostnames that we've each registered are so darned similar!

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