Entry tags:
Oh my god
I cannot fix all the badfic and I should tamp down hard on the desire to TRY. Like, that one wasn't even badly written, it just could have been more interesting with a slightly different premise, and it was off a kinkmeme so you fill what you get asked, I get that.
AND I DID NOT NEED SLAVE!TONY IN MY HEAD ASKING FOR A BETTER STORY FML
ETA: Other things that freak me out about fanfiction: horrifying Tony with Steve/Howard. And like, the weird thing is, I'm pretty sure, based on the whole Carter legacy, that if Steve had slept with Howard it would turn him into an obsessed creepface about Tony, but I don't get the sense that fandom is drawing that parallel, I think fandom is just having its own personal id all over everything creepface issues. (I SAY THIS WITH LOVE. I AM NOT JUDGING YOUR CREEPFACE. MUCH.)
On the other hand, I think it would be really hilarious to horrify STEVE with Tony knowing about Steve/Howard. It was just one of those things--Dad bagged Captain America. (I am imagining Tony got told as a teenager when he started sleeping with boys and Howard was like "You think this is a rebellion? Let me tell you about my boyfriends, trust me, you're not rebelling against anything here," and frankly, Steve is HORRIFIED that the tale of their LOVE got used this way. Tony is like, "Whatever, I was pretty horrible as a teenager, I probably deserved it." Ahahaha, oh Tony, as a teenager you were horrible. Yes.)
AND I DID NOT NEED SLAVE!TONY IN MY HEAD ASKING FOR A BETTER STORY FML
ETA: Other things that freak me out about fanfiction: horrifying Tony with Steve/Howard. And like, the weird thing is, I'm pretty sure, based on the whole Carter legacy, that if Steve had slept with Howard it would turn him into an obsessed creepface about Tony, but I don't get the sense that fandom is drawing that parallel, I think fandom is just having its own personal id all over everything creepface issues. (I SAY THIS WITH LOVE. I AM NOT JUDGING YOUR CREEPFACE. MUCH.)
On the other hand, I think it would be really hilarious to horrify STEVE with Tony knowing about Steve/Howard. It was just one of those things--Dad bagged Captain America. (I am imagining Tony got told as a teenager when he started sleeping with boys and Howard was like "You think this is a rebellion? Let me tell you about my boyfriends, trust me, you're not rebelling against anything here," and frankly, Steve is HORRIFIED that the tale of their LOVE got used this way. Tony is like, "Whatever, I was pretty horrible as a teenager, I probably deserved it." Ahahaha, oh Tony, as a teenager you were horrible. Yes.)
Re: Conversation elsewhere
Fascinating meta is fascinating! Not least because I have written for a kinkmeme (twice, and a very small one; it's not like it's a hobby), and also have read several (large, popular, long-running) kinkmemes. While I've evaluated them in terms of openness versus privacy, I've never considered this angle before.
Disclaimer: Subjective statement is subjective, and in no way intended to suggest YOU'RE WRONG! or that your experience is not valid! Just that my own experiences and perceptions are quite different.
For me, not even writing -- and at least once it was a pairing I'd never even have considered reading -- struck me as I-am-doing-a-sexual-thing. *shrugs*
In my head, I think I experience it as "it's all about fannish encouragement" (we all have kinks, you never know who shares your kink, and ANYBODY, not just BNFs, can write and be seen!) and, for me as a writer, it's about getting a bunch of no-pressure challenges, seeing what grabs me, and incidentally making somebody feel happy/accepted.
I don't really think of reading fanfic, even explicit fanfic, as a sexual thing, either, or at least not 98% of the time; it's an emotional high rather than a physiological arousal.