Entry tags:
Oh my god
I cannot fix all the badfic and I should tamp down hard on the desire to TRY. Like, that one wasn't even badly written, it just could have been more interesting with a slightly different premise, and it was off a kinkmeme so you fill what you get asked, I get that.
AND I DID NOT NEED SLAVE!TONY IN MY HEAD ASKING FOR A BETTER STORY FML
ETA: Other things that freak me out about fanfiction: horrifying Tony with Steve/Howard. And like, the weird thing is, I'm pretty sure, based on the whole Carter legacy, that if Steve had slept with Howard it would turn him into an obsessed creepface about Tony, but I don't get the sense that fandom is drawing that parallel, I think fandom is just having its own personal id all over everything creepface issues. (I SAY THIS WITH LOVE. I AM NOT JUDGING YOUR CREEPFACE. MUCH.)
On the other hand, I think it would be really hilarious to horrify STEVE with Tony knowing about Steve/Howard. It was just one of those things--Dad bagged Captain America. (I am imagining Tony got told as a teenager when he started sleeping with boys and Howard was like "You think this is a rebellion? Let me tell you about my boyfriends, trust me, you're not rebelling against anything here," and frankly, Steve is HORRIFIED that the tale of their LOVE got used this way. Tony is like, "Whatever, I was pretty horrible as a teenager, I probably deserved it." Ahahaha, oh Tony, as a teenager you were horrible. Yes.)
AND I DID NOT NEED SLAVE!TONY IN MY HEAD ASKING FOR A BETTER STORY FML
ETA: Other things that freak me out about fanfiction: horrifying Tony with Steve/Howard. And like, the weird thing is, I'm pretty sure, based on the whole Carter legacy, that if Steve had slept with Howard it would turn him into an obsessed creepface about Tony, but I don't get the sense that fandom is drawing that parallel, I think fandom is just having its own personal id all over everything creepface issues. (I SAY THIS WITH LOVE. I AM NOT JUDGING YOUR CREEPFACE. MUCH.)
On the other hand, I think it would be really hilarious to horrify STEVE with Tony knowing about Steve/Howard. It was just one of those things--Dad bagged Captain America. (I am imagining Tony got told as a teenager when he started sleeping with boys and Howard was like "You think this is a rebellion? Let me tell you about my boyfriends, trust me, you're not rebelling against anything here," and frankly, Steve is HORRIFIED that the tale of their LOVE got used this way. Tony is like, "Whatever, I was pretty horrible as a teenager, I probably deserved it." Ahahaha, oh Tony, as a teenager you were horrible. Yes.)
Re: Do I need a safeword with fandom? Yes, apparently.
Funnily enough, in a way it's my cultural programming coming into play too - because my experience of "People post saying they're not writing something" is that they do mean "Talk me into it/encourage me". Obviously that only holds for fic posts, not "serious stuff", but yeah, it's going by what I've been "taught" by other people. I spent years taking people at face value, then got told I was interpreting people wrong. Damn confusing human beans.
The whole softening-no thing can be so awkward, I've been cursed out to hell and back for actually enforcing my boundaries (I got called a rude c*** this week for telling someone that if I wanted disability advice I would ask.) because some people get so pissy about people actually having boundaries.
Re: Do I need a safeword with fandom? Yes, apparently.
Yeah, I get that, I just spent a fair chunk of time questioning myself because I wasn't totally sure that I've never done that. I haven't delved deep into my writing history, but checking back in stuff I've done this fall--like, okay, this one, where I'm remixing bdsmworld fic, I can see the similarities in how I posted about it, there was a fair amount of "FML" in each, but--and I ended up going back to check my chatlogs in that one, because it seemed plausible that I might treat "no" differently in one-on-one chat (and that it might carry over between chat and comments with people I talk to one-on-one a lot), but it looks like I was at no point saying "I am not writing this," I was only saying "This is a terrible idea, WHY am I writing this," and I didn't even post to my DW until I was already writing it.
(I think it is... um, let's call it an interesting confluence that the one story that I was totally onboard with writing despite my opinion it was terrible was a consensual BDSMworld, whereas the one that I'm like "ahahahaha I could make that more interesting but NO" is the one where Tony was literally enslaved, against his will.)
In another case,
There is a line in a Killers song: "If the answer's no, can I change your mind?" which is not awesome, that "no" is not something that's taken at face value, but it least it TEXTUALIZES that there are two (relevant) kinds of "no" and asks which "no" is in play rather than just assuming any no is a convince-me "no." Similar to what you asked me, but part of what bothered me about what you asked me was that your characterization of the convince-me "no" involved all words that literally said no: I feel like the can I convince you/change your mind question needs to be textual, not a case of "surely if you protest THAT MUCH I can read in subtext of protesting TOO MUCH" or something.
I have all kinds of thinky thoughts on this. I almost want to make a full entry of it but I am not sure I want the kind of attention that would probably attract. Sigh.
Re: Do I need a safeword with fandom? Yes, apparently.
Reading down the comments, I didn't even think of this as being related to sex, because I don't view fic that way. How you reacted makes more sense - the "no means no" rstatement is something I always equate with rape discussions, and you moving straight to that made me defensive as hell. But if your view on fic-writing is that it's a sexual thing, then that *does* make sense now.
Funnily enough, all this was what I was hoping to avoid by *asking*. Ah well, happens.