jmtorres | the van.

Current Mood: amused

Entry tags:

the van.

Fandom,

niqaeli would like me to tell you about the van.

Okay, so who here watched Roswell? A handful of alien teenagers and a handful of human teenagers variously hooked up and hid from the government and some other aliens with the aid of Snapple for three seasons? That Roswell. Right. Okay. So in the finale of Roswell, all of the kids graduate high school and decide to flee their enemies in an old VW microbus.

Um, look. For real, I am not making this shit up.

No, wait, but the best part is, then they get married. Okay, mostly the show meant that Max and Liz get married but the gang's all there and the honeymoon is in the van, with everyone else so I DO NOT THINK I AM IN ANY WAY WRONG FOR SHIPPING PUPPY PILE.

Anyway, I have a fairly thorough map in my head of who sleeps with who in the Roswell group marriage. And while we were watching Utena, I had the terrible mental image of if all the duellists and Anshi managed to escape ~~the Hotel California~~ Ohtori Academy together in a van, what would all the relationships be?

So far I have determined that Touga sleeps with Saionji and also Miki. (Not related to sexing but as a now-our-mental-canon-in-pretty-much-any-scenario-ever, Utena keeps a rolled newspaper to thwap Touga on the nose whenever he tries to be her prince, and Touga has a permanent ink smudge on his face.) Utena and Anshi are a thing but they manage to get through Juri's barriers eventually and drag her into lesbian threesome. After Juri has unbent a little she makes an overture towards Nanami and Nanami gets on her high horse and announces she does not ~~lay eggs~~ like girls. Miki and Utena reassure Juri that it's not homophobia or even a personal rejection--she's just not Touga. (Miki and Utena might be the only remotely sane het pairing in that van.) Nanami is totally the snooty one who doesn't sleep with anyone but they never quite kick her out, in part because do they really want to expose the rest of the world to her insanity? Given that she canonically has the makings of s serial killer. Occasionally they go around the van checking if anyone is willing to throw themselves on that grenade to a chorus of "No" and "Hell, no" and Touga's "Perhaps--" which is cut off by "OH GOD NO."

niqaeli says they should totally take Wakaba in the van with them, it's like taking Kyle! She is more right than she knows; she hasn't seen any Black Rose arc yet.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this. It's not like I'm going to write it. And I'm pretty sure the crossover between the Roswell and Utena audiences in my readership is like, two people. But it makes

niqaeli happy. So here you go.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I totally think Utena and Touga could be an entertaining as hell trainwreck. ...apparently I ship clusterfuck? But not the incest. Oh my god, not the incest.

(Look, I mean, obviously Utena and Anji are adorbs and probably fucked up enough in their own right, but you know. Trainwreck! You can always add another passenger car to a trainwreck.)

The newspaper makes me very happy. Smudge!

Part of what is hilarious about this is re the Roswell van, I totally do ship incest.

BUT NONE OF THEM ARE AS UNHINGED AS NANAMI.

*dying in laughter*

Ah, Utena. The series for which our primary slash pairing was two people who not only hadn't met in the series, they literally did not exist at the same time.

I love watching people watching Utena for the first time. The slow dawning horror as they realize that the Shadowplay Girls are the people who make the most sense in the entire goddamn universe is delicious.

... Mikage/Ruka?

The slow dawning horror as they realize that the Shadowplay Girls are the people who make the most sense in the entire goddamn universe is delicious.

OH YES BABY.

Got it in one! (My former writing group, Technomancy, broke up in a horrible comet trail of drama, so the stuff isn't all in one place anymore, but we called it the Jamais Vu series. Ruka was a radio DJ personally responsible for the phenemonon of the sentient radio. Mikage was a librarian. They were the only two people who didn't get a happily ever after, because they were the only two people who (skip) died inside the dream, instead of still being present inside Akio's world when Utena won the duel called Revolution and therefore getting their idealized ending. They got bits of it, but not all, and they were the only ones who remembered the inside of the created world wholly instead of in half-remembered dreams. It fucked with them.)

Our interpretation of Utena was on crack, but we defended it by saying that Utena was on crack, so.

And god, yeah, the Shadowplay Girls are just great. I haven't rewatched the whole thing from start in a very long time, and I don't think I ever did rewatch the whole thing straight through, so now that I'm showing it to

sarah I'm making a lot of squeaking "oh God I can't believe they DID THAT" noises and she keeps glaring at me and saying "WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" and I keep saying "just wait!"

Well, given that worldview, I can totally see them together. :)

It's been a long time since I rewatched it straight through. We kept meaning to watch it over when we were finishing Archimage, but never did, so everything was derived from our memories of it. :) I ran out of people to show it to, though now my goddaughter is about to turn 13 and her older sister is 17 -- PERFECT AGE!

Oh, that totally is the perfect age! Right on the line between shōjo and josei.

I can't wait until we get into the Black Rose arc. And the Akio Car arc. (And someday I will vid the Akio Car arc to Moxy Fruvous's "Get In The Car" hee hee hee.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA I SECOND THAT EMOTION.

"Billy Ocean, Deputy Chairman? Billy Ocean?"

I love those damn girls. Since I told

niqaeli a smidge about the Hotel California effect early on, we've developed the theory that they're girls who've been at the school long enough to... fade. Like, they didn't actually die outright like Mikage, but they're really shadows. There's no more substantial parts of them. And this is why they know so much, they've seen this cycle before.

I always suspected that given just a little more maturity for both of them, Nanami/Juri could totally happen.

Although, just for maxxing the crazy, Kozue/Nanami could be an entertaining world-destroying trainwreck.

Right? Clearly that's the distraction they leave behind in order to escape in the van. Nanami problem solved!

Been some time since I read the Utena manga, but this still has me struggling not to crack up in the lunchroom here at work.

I wonder how many fandoms you could hilarify by adding "van 'verse!"?

Of course you know what 'verse having characters wander around in a van is going to remind many people of?

Which even lets you bring in the "Make them a band!" meme since the characters in Scooby Doo were originally going to be a band (which would have given an explanation as to why they were always driving from town to town).

Hmm. Or the A-Team.

Now suddenly I want to see someone do an A-Team/Roswell/Scooby Doo/Any other Van group mass crossover just for the insanity of it.

Question: Having never watched Roswell (although I recall my mother being hooked on it) should I hunt down DVDs?

Hahahah um, if you are basing your interest purely off descriptions here, sure? I don't say it's a good show, only that it's adorable and frequently kind of cracked. In the beginning it's extremely earnestly narrated by Liz; while I do not hate Liz with the violent passion of some corners of fandom, I do think the show gets more interesting as more viewpoints get incorporated. I LOVE s2+ Kyle (though I am not unfond of him in, say the Valentine's episode of s1, *snickers*)--when he finds out about aliens he sort of has to spend the summer re-evaluating his life and comes back from football camp a Buddhist, which somehow makes everyone think he's gay. And, and, season 3 just has some totally WEIRD shit like the episode where Iz is coping poorly with her marriage and imagines she's living in a 1950s sitcom. And they have canonical evil twins. And stuff.

OH MY GOD THAT VAN.

And it was just--it's hippies! They were hippies! Isabel walked out ON HER WEIRD, RANDOM MARRIAGE to live in a microbus with her brother and the guy she was supposed to marry on their home planet and all their friends, and I just. THAT WAS A REAL SHOW.

People always think I'm kidding when I tell them that they had canonical evil twins and a Backstreet Boy.

and HER HUSBAND GAVE THEM THE VAN. Like, did they actually have an exit strategy? No! They were going to scatter! But they fail at that! And her husband is like, "HAVE A VAN! MAYBE I COULD COME WITH YOU!"

"I COULD CATCH UP TO YOU EVENTUALLY! THAT'S COOL, RIGHT?"

The fact that Katherine Heigl has turned into a Name is still just weird to me.

Would movie-verse Utena turn into the van? :D?

*bursts out laughing* YES.

Nanami would totally throw herself at Saionji because he is HER BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND and I am not actually certain whether he would duck?

Because they BOTH WANT TOUGA. So obviously they're a match made in hell!

I think Nanami might throw herself at Saionji with a knife.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

the van.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

spoilers in this comment! (i hope my spoiler code works)

Re: spoilers in this comment! (i hope my spoiler code works)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject