jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
jmtorres ([personal profile] jmtorres) wrote2011-01-09 10:50 pm
Entry tags:

You know, I think I've mellowed.

It used to be when people poked me in my journal comments in ways I didn't like to be poked, I banned them.

Now I just tell them I don't feel I should have to disclose information just because they're interested until they unsub and ban me.

(Dude, it was in my journal. What is the point of banning? Is this person afraid I'm going to follow her to her journal and harass her with my insistence that I don't want to discuss it any further?)
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2011-01-10 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
Probably.
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2011-01-10 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*reads back* Oh my. That's something, all right. And, for what it's worth, a reasoned response to a "no, none of your business" is ... not that. Very not that. You shouldn't feel obliged to give more details than you're comfortable sharing; you shouldn't feel obliged to go into history you've already been over with doctors to your satisfaction. I have seen other friends get, and react to, this sort of concerned-friend badgering from people who were closer to them; it happens a good deal with people who have various conditions that disable them a good deal more than what you were talking about there, and one does just get so. very. tired. of rehashing the stuff. So it's a very reasonable boundary to set; many others who are not you set and enforce it. I think it says more about them than it says about you that they're afraid that you will come after them and cause problems in their journal; from that, it sounds like they have a habit of getting into disputes that follow them home.

I can't say but that you banning them wouldn't be for the best. These things are less entertaining the more of them you see.

(And I say this about the boundaries in a large part because I lost a friendly acquaintance years ago by trying to be too helpful. She'd accidentally defriended a non-mutual friend whose writing she liked, and had no idea who it was. I tried to help figure it out. She told me to stop; I still thought I could get it, and kept trying. She defriended me, because even though I was trying to help with the purest intentions, all it was doing was upsetting her, and she'd told me to stop and I didn't.)
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)

[personal profile] rydra_wong 2011-01-10 08:53 am (UTC)(link)
*checks back several entries*

Oh. THAT'S who.
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)

[personal profile] rydra_wong 2011-01-10 10:34 am (UTC)(link)
I had an, er, memorable encounter with her.
jetpack_monkey: (Default)

[personal profile] jetpack_monkey 2011-01-10 09:27 am (UTC)(link)
Seriously, what the fuck?
jetpack_monkey: (Batman - Model of Mental Health)

[personal profile] jetpack_monkey 2011-01-10 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes concern is also creepy as fuck. I know this speaking as someone who used to be completely bewildered as to why people didn't want me concerned about them anymore (I had some, ah, really nasty growing pains, socially. I used to rip groups of friends apart by being really nice and concerned).
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2011-01-10 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
The "look, we are not that close, your concern might be scaled correctly if we were BFF or dating; what about this situation makes it appropriate that you should take so intense an interest in my life" factor.

And even if it's only ADD/ADHD monofocus rather than a stalkerish obsession, doesn't make it easier for the person on the receiving end.
verity: buffy embraces the mid 90s shades (Default)

[personal profile] verity 2011-01-10 09:36 am (UTC)(link)
I looked back and... WHOA. o_O Inappropriate!
ambyr: oak leaves and holes, captioned, "down the rabbit hole...and out the other side" (nature sculpture by Andy Goldsworth) (Oak Leaves)

[personal profile] ambyr 2011-01-10 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. That was just. . .bizarre. Your health is your business.
echan: rainbow arch supernova remnant (Default)

[personal profile] echan 2011-01-10 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Your drama tag is incorrect. It should be "drama llama". Unless you change it, the internet police will be forced to restrict your net activities. LOOK OUT.

*giggles*
jecook: (Default)

[personal profile] jecook 2011-01-11 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
*facepalm*

Some people's children...