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my brain is set to blender
(there's an entry at the edges of this that probably needs to be under whine filter, about how I can't put my brain on the rails for real world functionality)
These days my head is in kind of in a constant state of EPIC FANFIC, except I'm not writing anything. I pull up WIPs on the computer and nothing happens. The most fic I've written is a page and a half of iambic pentameter in my notebook from when I'm supposed to be taking class notes, and most of that was in September.
So in theory I'm going to talk out the inside of my head and maybe some of this entry will be useful for outlines later.
White Collar bunnies:
1. There's a Chuck/White Collar crossover in which Neal is Bryce and vice versa; Chuck shows up on Peter's doorstep asking for Br--Neal, and Peter is suspicious. Neal (I stick with Neal in my head, or try to, because this story seems to be from Peter's POV) introduces Chuck to Peter as a friend from the CIA ("I sometimes work for the CIA") and Peter to Chuck as a friend from the FBI ("I sometimes work for the FBI"). And Peter wants to see Chuck's badge and since this is kung fu Chuck, he actually has one, though he's sort of like, "Oh, uh, right," about it. Also Neal is like "they badged you? you're supposed to be a civilian analyst" and Chuck is snarky bitter about how he's always analyzing shit in the field, so they made him a field agent, and Neal is all Ineverwantedthatforyoumumble. Also the badge says Charles Carmichael. So while Peter is on the phone with the bureau having them run this badge, Neal and Chuck are on the couch talking and Neal puts his feet in Chuck's lap and Peter does O.o face at that. Elizabeth thinks this is all hilarious. Then five minutes later Chuck walks up and hands Peter the tracker anklet, apologetically, promising to bring Neal back after he's done. (Chuck totally took the anklet apart with his skillz and intersect knowledge.) This, Peter does not trust, but Neal puts his hat on Peter's head, and that Neal will be back for his hat is a promise Peter does trust. Though he feels really weird about it.
The plot of this is nebulous; I know Chuck came to see Bryce because Casey and/or Sarah were in shit and Chuck needed help rescuing them. I think at one point Chuck has to go to Peter and nervously formally request back-up from his team. I know Peter bugs Neal about what is going on with him and Chuck (in the middle of the night, at the kitchen table, while Chuck is crashed out on the couch) and Neal's explanation is prefaced with the note that most of it's more classified than he can tell Peter so he'll be leaving a lot out and some of what he tells Peter will be the cover story. What Neal tells Peter is roughly along the lines of: he met Chuck's father while working for the CIA; Chuck, at that time, did not know his father was involved in anything classified and in fact hadn't seen his father in several years. Neal went to Chuck's university and befriended Chuck as a favor to Chuck's father, to keep an eye out for him, and blew things up rather spectacularly trying to keep the CIA from recruiting Chuck too, which his father very much did not want, and Neal subsequently broke with the CIA. Most of his illegal activities were things he did to support himself under the CIA's radar, he claims. When he got caught, the CIA came to him in prison and offered him deep undercover work, and essentially used the prison as a safehouse for him between missions. (The CIA eventually figured out Chuck was too smart to let slip through their fingers, too, is all Neal says about how Chuck ended up in the CIA despite his best efforts.) Kate was the CIA handler who periodically took him out for jobs and that was why he flipped when she went off the map, nothing good makes CIA agents vanish. When Neal is done with this explanation Peter asks what the truth to bullshit ratio is on this and Chuck says, from under a throw pillow, "Thirty-seventy," and Neal is all, "Forty-sixty!" Among other things, Chuck mocks the idea that the Neal quit the CIA, though he admits that the crime spree was rogue and none of the assorted agency reports on Bryce/Neal (not that they've admitted to Peter what Neal's alias is) have any idea what the hell he was doing with the Caffrey money. Chuck also says, "I didn't know you knew my father before college."
At some point Neal tells Chuck, "You know you're the only CIA project I care about anymore, right?"
2. In the pilot, Neal mentions that June's granddaughter Cindy is an art student. So I have this one bunny where she becomes his apprentice. Peter doesn't catch on right away, at first it's just a couple of times when Neal is gonna go home and do stuff with Cindy instead of go have drinks with Peter and Peter is all kicked puppy jealous. Then he twigs and hits the roof. Neal is all, "Copying the masters is a totally legit art exercise! It's only illegal if you claim your work IS a master's!" and Peter points out that with Neal as a teacher this is totally the logical next step and NEAL IS GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING AND SLIPPERY SLOPE BACK TO PRISON. I honestly cannot figure out if Neal is actually training her in art forgery or just passing on technical art skills, because he's gone all con man about it at Peter. He plays this pity card, he's all, "Cindy'll never be a forger, she's too good," and Peter's like, "What, you're gonna try to convince me she's morally above it?" and Neal says, "No, she's too good, too talented. I mean, not that forgery doesn't require skill, but it's. It's boring. To people with a real talent at art." Sniff. Sniff. Completely fictional wee Neal was told his sailboat watercolors were unoriginal. Neal has painted his own work! He's even sold some! To Holiday Inn. Oh my god, Peter has no idea how seriously to take this whole drama, it's hilarious.
This one developed plot in an odd direction. Neal's trying to get Peter's permission to go to a gallery showing where they're putting up Cindy's work and Peter's wanting to nix it because he thinks Neal's going to go meet old contacts or something and Elizabeth's all, "what if I go with him?" and Peter's like, "sure, I'm sending him back to wheeling and dealing with a girl on each arm," but Elizabeth wins that argument because it's Elizabeth. But so they go and Cindy's all excited about her work getting attention and then Neal spots Kate. I know there's an odd moment when Cindy's like, "But weren't you hoping she'd be here?" and Neal answers that no, he was hoping she wouldn't. There'd be a rumor, see, but by Neal's logic, if she's fucked off to San Diego or wherever, then that she didn't see him just means she couldn't come see him. But if she's in New York and hasn't come see him, that's just total betrayal. Somewhere in here Neal is telling Cindy that she should never ever have a partner, they just stab you in the back, you can never trust them, and Cindy says, "Not even you?" and Neal is all, "Oh, definitely not me," and Cindy says, "How about Peter?" and Neal kind of gets quiet and then says, "Peter's different."
But anyway Neal tells Elizabeth to call Peter and then hares off across the gallery announcing that he's FBI and handcuffs himself to Kate. So when Peter shows up Kate and Neal are handcuffed together sulking on this bench. Earlier my brain had a lot to say about Elizabeth bringing Peter up to speed but I can't remember much of that conversation now. Neal says something about how Kate's only sticking around until she gets her hands on a hairpin ("Cindy, stay back,") so would Peter hurry up and take her into custody already, and Peter is all, seriously? seriously, Neal? and refuses to arrest Kate. They never made anything stick to her, he says, and he doesn't believe Neal will give any testimony that he won't later retract, so this is clearly going to be a big waste of time and resources and why doesn't Neal just unlock the cuffs now.
And Neal sort of embarrassedly says that in a moment of high drama, he swallowed the key. Peter rolls his eyes and says Neal's whole life is high drama (see also: sailboat watercolors) and asks Cindy for a hairpin.
There's this other snip of conversation in my head between Peter and Kate; I'm not sure if he decides to take her in for questioning after all or just needs to bitch at her, but he's asking her what the hell with the bottle and accusing her of breaking Neal's heart and Kate sort of blinks at him. Kate and Neal were partners, professional partners, she says, not lovers. Neal's gay, she says. (Sure, he never turns the charm off, with anybody. Sure, he sleeps with women on the job. But not for pleasure.) Peter is generally flabbergasted. Mostly that Neal lied to him.
But I still don't know what Kate's up to or whether Neal's tutelage of Cindy is legit or forgetastic, which makes the story hard to write.
(Also, Peter asking if Neal sleeps with Mozzie: hilarious awkwardness. Neal is like, "Uh, not right now? I have, in the past? I'm not sure what you're asking me. He's not my boyfriend or anything?")
3. Then there's the one about Elizabeth the crook, as an explanation of why Peter was surveilling her. Mind, he never managed to catch her, she was cleared of all charges, he only managed to put the logic together enough to congratulate her on completely brilliant it was and how he'd never be able to pin it on her.
Neal's FACE when he finds out about El's sordid past though. And Peter! Married a crook! Oh Neal.
Wants to have a plot, some skeezy guy from El's former life showing up, still haven't pinned that down. I know the guy is giving El crap about her fed husband and why isn't he here to protect her and Neal happens to be listening from the other room and waltzes in to claim to be El's fed husband, whips out his badge and all. Only the guy actually knows who Peter is from the investigation that turned into a courtship so he's like, "What, so you're cheating on your husband with the youngest, prettiest guy in the bullpen?" and Neal's like, "Yup, that's me." I don't even know.
---
Oh gosh, I thought I was going to get to other fandoms of EPIC FANFIC in my head, but that took an hour and a half to write and now I'm actually tired. So I think I'll lay down now.
These days my head is in kind of in a constant state of EPIC FANFIC, except I'm not writing anything. I pull up WIPs on the computer and nothing happens. The most fic I've written is a page and a half of iambic pentameter in my notebook from when I'm supposed to be taking class notes, and most of that was in September.
So in theory I'm going to talk out the inside of my head and maybe some of this entry will be useful for outlines later.
White Collar bunnies:
1. There's a Chuck/White Collar crossover in which Neal is Bryce and vice versa; Chuck shows up on Peter's doorstep asking for Br--Neal, and Peter is suspicious. Neal (I stick with Neal in my head, or try to, because this story seems to be from Peter's POV) introduces Chuck to Peter as a friend from the CIA ("I sometimes work for the CIA") and Peter to Chuck as a friend from the FBI ("I sometimes work for the FBI"). And Peter wants to see Chuck's badge and since this is kung fu Chuck, he actually has one, though he's sort of like, "Oh, uh, right," about it. Also Neal is like "they badged you? you're supposed to be a civilian analyst" and Chuck is snarky bitter about how he's always analyzing shit in the field, so they made him a field agent, and Neal is all Ineverwantedthatforyoumumble. Also the badge says Charles Carmichael. So while Peter is on the phone with the bureau having them run this badge, Neal and Chuck are on the couch talking and Neal puts his feet in Chuck's lap and Peter does O.o face at that. Elizabeth thinks this is all hilarious. Then five minutes later Chuck walks up and hands Peter the tracker anklet, apologetically, promising to bring Neal back after he's done. (Chuck totally took the anklet apart with his skillz and intersect knowledge.) This, Peter does not trust, but Neal puts his hat on Peter's head, and that Neal will be back for his hat is a promise Peter does trust. Though he feels really weird about it.
The plot of this is nebulous; I know Chuck came to see Bryce because Casey and/or Sarah were in shit and Chuck needed help rescuing them. I think at one point Chuck has to go to Peter and nervously formally request back-up from his team. I know Peter bugs Neal about what is going on with him and Chuck (in the middle of the night, at the kitchen table, while Chuck is crashed out on the couch) and Neal's explanation is prefaced with the note that most of it's more classified than he can tell Peter so he'll be leaving a lot out and some of what he tells Peter will be the cover story. What Neal tells Peter is roughly along the lines of: he met Chuck's father while working for the CIA; Chuck, at that time, did not know his father was involved in anything classified and in fact hadn't seen his father in several years. Neal went to Chuck's university and befriended Chuck as a favor to Chuck's father, to keep an eye out for him, and blew things up rather spectacularly trying to keep the CIA from recruiting Chuck too, which his father very much did not want, and Neal subsequently broke with the CIA. Most of his illegal activities were things he did to support himself under the CIA's radar, he claims. When he got caught, the CIA came to him in prison and offered him deep undercover work, and essentially used the prison as a safehouse for him between missions. (The CIA eventually figured out Chuck was too smart to let slip through their fingers, too, is all Neal says about how Chuck ended up in the CIA despite his best efforts.) Kate was the CIA handler who periodically took him out for jobs and that was why he flipped when she went off the map, nothing good makes CIA agents vanish. When Neal is done with this explanation Peter asks what the truth to bullshit ratio is on this and Chuck says, from under a throw pillow, "Thirty-seventy," and Neal is all, "Forty-sixty!" Among other things, Chuck mocks the idea that the Neal quit the CIA, though he admits that the crime spree was rogue and none of the assorted agency reports on Bryce/Neal (not that they've admitted to Peter what Neal's alias is) have any idea what the hell he was doing with the Caffrey money. Chuck also says, "I didn't know you knew my father before college."
At some point Neal tells Chuck, "You know you're the only CIA project I care about anymore, right?"
2. In the pilot, Neal mentions that June's granddaughter Cindy is an art student. So I have this one bunny where she becomes his apprentice. Peter doesn't catch on right away, at first it's just a couple of times when Neal is gonna go home and do stuff with Cindy instead of go have drinks with Peter and Peter is all kicked puppy jealous. Then he twigs and hits the roof. Neal is all, "Copying the masters is a totally legit art exercise! It's only illegal if you claim your work IS a master's!" and Peter points out that with Neal as a teacher this is totally the logical next step and NEAL IS GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING AND SLIPPERY SLOPE BACK TO PRISON. I honestly cannot figure out if Neal is actually training her in art forgery or just passing on technical art skills, because he's gone all con man about it at Peter. He plays this pity card, he's all, "Cindy'll never be a forger, she's too good," and Peter's like, "What, you're gonna try to convince me she's morally above it?" and Neal says, "No, she's too good, too talented. I mean, not that forgery doesn't require skill, but it's. It's boring. To people with a real talent at art." Sniff. Sniff. Completely fictional wee Neal was told his sailboat watercolors were unoriginal. Neal has painted his own work! He's even sold some! To Holiday Inn. Oh my god, Peter has no idea how seriously to take this whole drama, it's hilarious.
This one developed plot in an odd direction. Neal's trying to get Peter's permission to go to a gallery showing where they're putting up Cindy's work and Peter's wanting to nix it because he thinks Neal's going to go meet old contacts or something and Elizabeth's all, "what if I go with him?" and Peter's like, "sure, I'm sending him back to wheeling and dealing with a girl on each arm," but Elizabeth wins that argument because it's Elizabeth. But so they go and Cindy's all excited about her work getting attention and then Neal spots Kate. I know there's an odd moment when Cindy's like, "But weren't you hoping she'd be here?" and Neal answers that no, he was hoping she wouldn't. There'd be a rumor, see, but by Neal's logic, if she's fucked off to San Diego or wherever, then that she didn't see him just means she couldn't come see him. But if she's in New York and hasn't come see him, that's just total betrayal. Somewhere in here Neal is telling Cindy that she should never ever have a partner, they just stab you in the back, you can never trust them, and Cindy says, "Not even you?" and Neal is all, "Oh, definitely not me," and Cindy says, "How about Peter?" and Neal kind of gets quiet and then says, "Peter's different."
But anyway Neal tells Elizabeth to call Peter and then hares off across the gallery announcing that he's FBI and handcuffs himself to Kate. So when Peter shows up Kate and Neal are handcuffed together sulking on this bench. Earlier my brain had a lot to say about Elizabeth bringing Peter up to speed but I can't remember much of that conversation now. Neal says something about how Kate's only sticking around until she gets her hands on a hairpin ("Cindy, stay back,") so would Peter hurry up and take her into custody already, and Peter is all, seriously? seriously, Neal? and refuses to arrest Kate. They never made anything stick to her, he says, and he doesn't believe Neal will give any testimony that he won't later retract, so this is clearly going to be a big waste of time and resources and why doesn't Neal just unlock the cuffs now.
And Neal sort of embarrassedly says that in a moment of high drama, he swallowed the key. Peter rolls his eyes and says Neal's whole life is high drama (see also: sailboat watercolors) and asks Cindy for a hairpin.
There's this other snip of conversation in my head between Peter and Kate; I'm not sure if he decides to take her in for questioning after all or just needs to bitch at her, but he's asking her what the hell with the bottle and accusing her of breaking Neal's heart and Kate sort of blinks at him. Kate and Neal were partners, professional partners, she says, not lovers. Neal's gay, she says. (Sure, he never turns the charm off, with anybody. Sure, he sleeps with women on the job. But not for pleasure.) Peter is generally flabbergasted. Mostly that Neal lied to him.
But I still don't know what Kate's up to or whether Neal's tutelage of Cindy is legit or forgetastic, which makes the story hard to write.
(Also, Peter asking if Neal sleeps with Mozzie: hilarious awkwardness. Neal is like, "Uh, not right now? I have, in the past? I'm not sure what you're asking me. He's not my boyfriend or anything?")
3. Then there's the one about Elizabeth the crook, as an explanation of why Peter was surveilling her. Mind, he never managed to catch her, she was cleared of all charges, he only managed to put the logic together enough to congratulate her on completely brilliant it was and how he'd never be able to pin it on her.
Neal's FACE when he finds out about El's sordid past though. And Peter! Married a crook! Oh Neal.
Wants to have a plot, some skeezy guy from El's former life showing up, still haven't pinned that down. I know the guy is giving El crap about her fed husband and why isn't he here to protect her and Neal happens to be listening from the other room and waltzes in to claim to be El's fed husband, whips out his badge and all. Only the guy actually knows who Peter is from the investigation that turned into a courtship so he's like, "What, so you're cheating on your husband with the youngest, prettiest guy in the bullpen?" and Neal's like, "Yup, that's me." I don't even know.
---
Oh gosh, I thought I was going to get to other fandoms of EPIC FANFIC in my head, but that took an hour and a half to write and now I'm actually tired. So I think I'll lay down now.
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wantswantswantswants
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I think the second is my favourite, but I want to read all of them so badly.
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(his entire life. high drama.)
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I mean, if you ever feel like writing these...
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forcepetition someone else to do it.no subject