hahahha I'm reading the Chanur books by CJ Cherryh rn and the hani are a matriarchal cat species, all the spacefarers are women, men are considered too, like, emotionally fragile to travel or go adventuring or whatever. And I was like--I kind of want to laugh, but I absolutely know my skin would be crawling if this were presented the other way around. GAHHHH. (Right so then the captain decides to take her husband along for the next few books, and even though he holds it together fine everyone else is like A MALE HANI IN SPACE? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? GET HIM OUT OF HERE HE'LL CAUSE NOTHING BUT TROUble it's kind of amaze.)

but omg: Or am I giving the toxicness too much brainspace by worrying about it?

this this this this this

like if I don't worry about it I just end up doing problematic/unhealthy things without examination

but if I do worry about it it's like, a fucking full time thing