jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
jmtorres ([personal profile] jmtorres) wrote 2011-11-26 10:18 pm (UTC)

Re: Do I need a safeword with fandom? Yes, apparently.

I could tell what the question was, but I safeworded rather than pick one of the options because both options were full of "no".

Pretty much I expect to be taken at my word about saying no--to writing fic or anything else--even if I am funny about saying no. My personality tends toward snark and my cultural programming leads me to soften refusals with humor, so even if I said "No. Seriously, I mean it. No talking me into it. Nu-uh. I am not writing this, dammit"? I would still mean: No. Seriously. No. So rather than risk being unclear: red. My answer to remixing slave!Tony fic is red.

Also: facepalm: my cultural programming in action: my response to your first query was just "NO." and I spent about five minutes finessing it because I thought it was maybe rude. Things I said: "Maybe not all caps?" Finally I settled on "Worlds of no" as a slightly humorous phrasing, and an offer of link. And we ended up in the weird interpretation place because a softened no is culturally (fannishly cultural as well as... god, so much everywhere, I can't even) not a real no, which is problematic as hell.

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