gremlins in the night

[jmtorres]

I am afraid I am not good enough to write this story. Specifically I am afraid I am not good enough at novel-length writing to write this story. But you only get better by doing so I don't know anything else to do but write it, except it's going to suck, and if I get it properly ripped-to-shreds beta'd I will cry myself to sleep and it'll never see the light of day because I won't be able to deal with it; so instead I'll post it with only a cursory typo beta and years from now when I have the experience or distance to pinpoint all the flaws, it will make me cringe with shame.

May writing this out exorcise the demons; may this prove phantom and not prophecy; may my skill stretch, with work and guidance, to meet the needs I bend it to.

Comments

[raine]

I didn't use to think that I was good enough to write a novel -- until I tallied up all the words I'd ever written, story-wise, and realized: holy cow, I wrote one...just in pieces. Thinking of the novel as pieces of, say, a trilogy, makes it easier for me to visualize somehow. :-)

((hugs)) Good luck, and may the muse stay with you!

[jmtorres]

It's not the word count that worries me; if I write all the scenes that I know are in this story, the word count will get there on its own. It's... pacing and plotting that worries me, mostly. How does it all fit together.

[grey_bard]

Sometimes you just need to get the words out. That's cool. If you want someone to check for typos and stuff and refrain from usual betaing, I'm there.

[jmtorres]

Don't refrain unless I specifically ask it for a session, please; I am hoping that one way I will get around this insecurity is that the beta process is sort of an ongoing shaping thing *as* I write instead of an all-at-once teardown of a full-length draft.