daily writing (Red Dwarf)
I cannot adequately explain this. I started writing an AU and my brain imploded.
1096 words.
The protocols in the case of nuclear disaster aboard Red Dwarf were clear: allow as many of the crew as possible to escape, and then high-tail it out of the solar system and don't look back until the radiation levels dropped to normal.
Most of the crew had died instantly. Holly had mistakenly reported all hands down before he recalled Lister, David, Technician Third Class down in stasis. Holly thought about the long, dark night ahead, and the comforting possibility of another sentient being to talk to in three million years or so when it would be safe to get Lister out. Then he thought, "That's a rotten thing to do to a bloke--everything he knows'll be dead in three million odd years," made a minute course correction, and dropped Lister's stasis pod on a path that would lead it, after fifteen years or so, into high Earth orbit, where someone would find it.
Then the universe convulsed.
Holly blinked at his full crew complement, at the asteroid that should have been a couple of astronomical units to his rear, and at Rimmer, Arnold, Technician Second Class, who was just coming in the airlock with Kelvin, Paul, Technician First Class. Holly listened to them for a moment, arguing about whose fault a loose bolt had been, before he realized that Kochanski, Kristine, Astronavigation, was asking him a question on the bridge.
"Sorry, what?"
"Is something wrong?" Kochanski asked him. "Run diagnostics on the microphones and speech interp program."
"Oh, yeah, I could hear you to take that order, if either of them was what was futzed," Holly said, rolling his eyes. He scanned the sky for Dave Lister's stasis pod, and found it right about where he'd left it. "I was distracted, is all."
"Distracted?" said Kochanski, sounding horrified. A computer of Holly's caliber should have been able to multi-task. Holly was multi-tasking, but trying to sort out what had happened was taking up a fair bit of his processing.
"There's a stasis pod a ways off," said Holly. "I just picked it up on scans. Adjusting course to retrieve."
"Holly, we've got people on the asteroid still," Kochanski pointed out.
"We have got, haven't we," Holly said in wonderment. "We'll just pop back and get them in a bit, shall we?"
"HOLLY," roared Captain Hollister. "Turn this ship around right this instant!"
Holly realized that if the captain was alive, Holly really couldn't go haring off doing whatever he felt like. He switched around a few of his internal settings, reversed the engine, and said, "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Don't know what came over me, sir."
"What's this about a stasis pod?" Captain Hollister asked.
"It's the one with Dave Lister," Holly explained.
"Who?" said the Captain.
"I was afraid of that," said Holly. "Krissie, don't suppose you recall?"
Kochanski looked up at the Captain out of the corners of her eyes, and shook her head at Holly.
"See, it's like this," said Holly. "Second Technician Rimmer was out repairing the drive plate alone--"
"No, he wasn't," said Todhunter. "Kelvin went out with him."
"Right, I know," Holly said. "I'm getting to that. This was before, you see."
Todhunter gave Hollister a confused glance.
Holly barrelled on. "Look, he went out alone, and he botched it all up and there was a radiation leak and everyone died but Dave Lister 'cause he was in stasis. So I shot him off and then there was a reality shift. Couldn't tell you why, but I think Lister was erased from history, which is why Rimmer had Kelvin to keep him from cocking it up, and the drive didn't blow, and here we are."
They all stared him, including Petersen, Olaf, Catering Officer, who'd only been on the bridge to ask Hollister what he wanted on the lunch menu next week, which was a pity, since Petersen had been Lister's best mate. Captain Hollister said, "Holly, would you consider speaking to MacIntyre?"
"Bollocks," Holly said under his breath. MacIntyre, George, Psychologist, recently deceased but kept on reserve via hologram. "I'm not crazy. I've got more brain than I know what to do with, is what, and you lot don't keep it brimming with 'analyze this rock,' 'go here,' and 'keep everyone breathing O2 and not vacuum.' So I can keep two sets of memories in my circuits, instead of just getting overwritten like you lot. 'S one of the advantages of not being organic. If we just go pick up the stasis pod, you'll see I'm right."
"Holly," said the captain carefully, "if this Lister person was erased from existence as you say, then what would he be doing still existing out there?"
"He's in stasis," said Holly. "It stops time," he said, enunciating clearly. "Whatever changed all of history couldn't touch what's in stasis, because there's no time in stasis, no history to touch."
Captain Hollister looked at Kochanski to ask, "Is that true?" because he still got astronavigation and astrophysics mixed up. Holly refrained from rolling his eyes. There wasn't a one of them on the bridge qualified to answer the question but him; Kochanski was a pilot, Todhunter was a command officer, and Petersen was a waiter.
Kochanski said, "It... it could be... I mean, I'd ordinarily want to check it with Holly, but--" She shrugged helplessly.
"Fine," said the Captain. "Is there actually a stasis pod drifting out there?"
Kochanski said, "Show me the scans, Holly," then looked as if she expected a reprimand. Tactfully, the Captain did not comment on the wisdom of asking Holly for anything when he was under suspicion of insanity.
Holly dutifully pulled up the scans, magnifying for their pitiful human eyes. Kochanski said, "But that's--Holly, how did you find that? Reflective index of less than twenty, at that range--"
"I told you," said Holly, "it's where I left it."
"Will it still be there in twelve hours?" the Captain asked.
"No, it'll have moved over a couple of kilometers," Holly said helpfully.
"Will it still be intact in twelve hours?" the Captain specified, glaring.
"Should be, yeah," said Holly, while Kochanski was still trying to chart its drift against a planetoid's orbit.
"Then we'll investigate after we finish analysis of this rock," the Captain ordered.
"Gordon Bennett," Holly muttered, and hunkered down for twelve hours of funny looks.
1096 words.
The protocols in the case of nuclear disaster aboard Red Dwarf were clear: allow as many of the crew as possible to escape, and then high-tail it out of the solar system and don't look back until the radiation levels dropped to normal.
Most of the crew had died instantly. Holly had mistakenly reported all hands down before he recalled Lister, David, Technician Third Class down in stasis. Holly thought about the long, dark night ahead, and the comforting possibility of another sentient being to talk to in three million years or so when it would be safe to get Lister out. Then he thought, "That's a rotten thing to do to a bloke--everything he knows'll be dead in three million odd years," made a minute course correction, and dropped Lister's stasis pod on a path that would lead it, after fifteen years or so, into high Earth orbit, where someone would find it.
Then the universe convulsed.
Holly blinked at his full crew complement, at the asteroid that should have been a couple of astronomical units to his rear, and at Rimmer, Arnold, Technician Second Class, who was just coming in the airlock with Kelvin, Paul, Technician First Class. Holly listened to them for a moment, arguing about whose fault a loose bolt had been, before he realized that Kochanski, Kristine, Astronavigation, was asking him a question on the bridge.
"Sorry, what?"
"Is something wrong?" Kochanski asked him. "Run diagnostics on the microphones and speech interp program."
"Oh, yeah, I could hear you to take that order, if either of them was what was futzed," Holly said, rolling his eyes. He scanned the sky for Dave Lister's stasis pod, and found it right about where he'd left it. "I was distracted, is all."
"Distracted?" said Kochanski, sounding horrified. A computer of Holly's caliber should have been able to multi-task. Holly was multi-tasking, but trying to sort out what had happened was taking up a fair bit of his processing.
"There's a stasis pod a ways off," said Holly. "I just picked it up on scans. Adjusting course to retrieve."
"Holly, we've got people on the asteroid still," Kochanski pointed out.
"We have got, haven't we," Holly said in wonderment. "We'll just pop back and get them in a bit, shall we?"
"HOLLY," roared Captain Hollister. "Turn this ship around right this instant!"
Holly realized that if the captain was alive, Holly really couldn't go haring off doing whatever he felt like. He switched around a few of his internal settings, reversed the engine, and said, "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Don't know what came over me, sir."
"What's this about a stasis pod?" Captain Hollister asked.
"It's the one with Dave Lister," Holly explained.
"Who?" said the Captain.
"I was afraid of that," said Holly. "Krissie, don't suppose you recall?"
Kochanski looked up at the Captain out of the corners of her eyes, and shook her head at Holly.
"See, it's like this," said Holly. "Second Technician Rimmer was out repairing the drive plate alone--"
"No, he wasn't," said Todhunter. "Kelvin went out with him."
"Right, I know," Holly said. "I'm getting to that. This was before, you see."
Todhunter gave Hollister a confused glance.
Holly barrelled on. "Look, he went out alone, and he botched it all up and there was a radiation leak and everyone died but Dave Lister 'cause he was in stasis. So I shot him off and then there was a reality shift. Couldn't tell you why, but I think Lister was erased from history, which is why Rimmer had Kelvin to keep him from cocking it up, and the drive didn't blow, and here we are."
They all stared him, including Petersen, Olaf, Catering Officer, who'd only been on the bridge to ask Hollister what he wanted on the lunch menu next week, which was a pity, since Petersen had been Lister's best mate. Captain Hollister said, "Holly, would you consider speaking to MacIntyre?"
"Bollocks," Holly said under his breath. MacIntyre, George, Psychologist, recently deceased but kept on reserve via hologram. "I'm not crazy. I've got more brain than I know what to do with, is what, and you lot don't keep it brimming with 'analyze this rock,' 'go here,' and 'keep everyone breathing O2 and not vacuum.' So I can keep two sets of memories in my circuits, instead of just getting overwritten like you lot. 'S one of the advantages of not being organic. If we just go pick up the stasis pod, you'll see I'm right."
"Holly," said the captain carefully, "if this Lister person was erased from existence as you say, then what would he be doing still existing out there?"
"He's in stasis," said Holly. "It stops time," he said, enunciating clearly. "Whatever changed all of history couldn't touch what's in stasis, because there's no time in stasis, no history to touch."
Captain Hollister looked at Kochanski to ask, "Is that true?" because he still got astronavigation and astrophysics mixed up. Holly refrained from rolling his eyes. There wasn't a one of them on the bridge qualified to answer the question but him; Kochanski was a pilot, Todhunter was a command officer, and Petersen was a waiter.
Kochanski said, "It... it could be... I mean, I'd ordinarily want to check it with Holly, but--" She shrugged helplessly.
"Fine," said the Captain. "Is there actually a stasis pod drifting out there?"
Kochanski said, "Show me the scans, Holly," then looked as if she expected a reprimand. Tactfully, the Captain did not comment on the wisdom of asking Holly for anything when he was under suspicion of insanity.
Holly dutifully pulled up the scans, magnifying for their pitiful human eyes. Kochanski said, "But that's--Holly, how did you find that? Reflective index of less than twenty, at that range--"
"I told you," said Holly, "it's where I left it."
"Will it still be there in twelve hours?" the Captain asked.
"No, it'll have moved over a couple of kilometers," Holly said helpfully.
"Will it still be intact in twelve hours?" the Captain specified, glaring.
"Should be, yeah," said Holly, while Kochanski was still trying to chart its drift against a planetoid's orbit.
"Then we'll investigate after we finish analysis of this rock," the Captain ordered.
"Gordon Bennett," Holly muttered, and hunkered down for twelve hours of funny looks.

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So, are you going to have us rejoin the story in twelve hours when the pod's retrieved so we can find out what Lister's take is on it all?
:-D
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Nearly wrote "ficathong." Hell, that's the second time in two minutes.
SOMEONE'S WEARING A THONG.
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