it's 4:30, I'm cleaning up vomit, and my snot is orange and peppered

[jmtorres]

The first few rounds were all diarrhea; at some point during the night I dispensed with conventional wisdom and stopped drinking water because it seemed to take approximately twenty minutes to come out the other end (and sadly I mean my ass). Such was the movement of fluid through my body that I didn't realize there was still anything in my stomach to upchuck seven hours after I'd eaten supper (indeed, internet sources inform me that at a normal rate of digestion, the stomach clears after four to five hours, tops).

Nonetheless, my meal awaited. Around 4AM I hoped to decrease my misery by popping a claratin-D; I figured perhaps I would be less horribly thirsty if I could sleep with my mouth closed. Within about two minutes the insertion of a solid object into my digestive tract caused a violent reoccurrence of said meal. It was curry. Some of it went up my nose. Some of it appears to still be up my nose. Earlier I blew my nose and got a mucus-soaked chunk of tofu. And my snot is still peppered. And orange.

I didn't make it to the toilet, only to the sink, and really only to the sink for most of the vomiting. I also sprayed the door and floor on my way into the bathroom. And frustrating news about the bathroom sink: large quantities of chewed but really not very digested noodles etc will clog it up, and it has no disposal.

I used most of a new roll of paper towels cleaning up the sink and the floor and the door and the cabinet. And I discovered that some sort of water-loving gnat has claimed the floor of my shower for a breeding ground (it is dry, it is just covered in them) so I sprayed them all with cleaner, left them to die, wiped vomit off my chest and feet with paper towels and made plans to use my roommate's shower after he's up for the day.

So I feel disgusting. And less nauseous, but still with some diarrhea, and also congested, and I can definitively tell you the claratin-D did not miraculous stay down, because I found it when I was cleaning vomit out of the sink.

I am considering taking the gag-risk of another pill, and also the diarrhea risk of another glass of water.

Also I think I have a fever, or had; I was so cold I turned my ceiling fan off for the first time since, like, February.

Should I try to drag into class? I have this feeling I won't be getting my paper done. Should I call in sick the second the store opens?

And I'm thinking I should definitely pitch the leftovers.

Man, if only we had gone for pie.