jmtorres: movieverse Steve Rogers with dorky grin. Text: The future is awesome! Who else is a robot? (steve rogers)
So the other day Steve tweaked me about something, and I said, whoa, wait, what?

For the longest time, Ivan Vorpatril has been the only character in my head who's had enough independence to have his own opinions, and notice and respond to me, and it was largely a function of what his personality is--he's a slinker, so what I noticed was he kept trying to slink off and hide from me. That and the intelligence.

The Steve in my head has apparently woken up enough to have... similar independence. And I didn't notice for the longest time because he didn't try to slink off--but that's not who he is. He's nice! He's a sweetie. Unlike Ivan, he doesn't hate me. So I didn't notice that his compliance wasn't the moldable plasticity of the ordinary kind of character I shape until he got comfortable enough to drop his sense of humor on me. It's subtle! Kind of wry. Usually self-deprecating. Except if he knows you well enough he'll nudge you the way he'd nudge himself. (See also: "Don't do anything stupid until I get back" "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you.")

Seriously, most of my characters don't talk back! And Steve doesn't really do backtalk, but, he's decided he's hung out in my head long enough to start teasing me for my foibles. So that's apparently a thing now.

*laugh* I was talking to [personal profile] niqaeli about it and the differences between how the Steve in my head and the Ivan in my head behave towards me, and we rapidly concluded that no shit Ivan runs for the hills when he can and Steve doesn't feel the need--we do hilariously awful things to Ivan because we delight in watching him squirm, whereas we do cute, fun things to Steve because he grins like a loon and it's fantastic. This icon, this icon is TOTALLY the world I keep writing for Steve. The future is awesome! I keep introducing him to interesting people. Some of them are robots! Or centaurs! Or his soulmate! Why exactly would he run away?

Somewhere in my head Ivan is sulking, because there's a new chewtoy as independent as he is, who has somehow drawn a better lot in plot bunnies and has no interest in coming to hide in a corner with him.
jmtorres: Image of dessert. Text: The cream pie of justice flies one way. (gregor)
It hit yuletide length, so I figured I was morally obligated to post it to the archive.

Title: The Secret Lives of Muses
Author: [personal profile] jmtorres
Fandom: Vorkosigan, Dresden Files by allusion, and Meta, meta as hell.
Summary: In which Gregor wants to hear all about Ivan's adventures in the author's head.
Word Count: 1056

I may have mentioned in the past about Ivan being the only muse who hides from me. In the back of my own head. In other fandoms. Where he gets his just desserts. (Hiding from your writer, honestly.) [personal profile] azurelunatic asked if he could be convinced to talk about that time in Chicago, and the answer was--I definitely could not convince him, but he won't lie to Gregor. And I'm not above using that against him.

Gregor, at least, forgives me.

Fic on AO3.
jmtorres: Text is "It's death for me to be caught with marbles in my possession" quote from Vorkosigan. Image of marble. (vorkosigan)
So I've been dealing with an ongoing sense of TONY STARK HOW SO DAMAGED from both other people's fic and how he behaves in my head in fic I might be writing (note to tony: no steve is not pissed off about you maybe banging lady gaga because he is jealous; I promise you that is not it, tony). Both [personal profile] niqaeli and I keep retreating to the Losers for sanity because THOSE guys are so much less damaged. I am not kidding and wow what.

I have been poking around in the back of my head for Ivan, who went to ground months ago and keeps jumping fandoms to avoid me. After the time I found him in New York, I decided not to ask at all when I tagged him in Chicago. Ivan Vorpatril is the most active, independent character in my head, and pretty much the only one who recognizes my presence as a writer and to be slunk away from.

Anyway, I hunted him up and begged him to come back because omg less damaged than Tony fucking Stark and he looked around at my crop of plotbunnies and got pissed off at me because we have a plotbunny called the goddamn lunar base whose sole purpose is a Tony without damage for me to use to block regular Tony out. All the things I've done to Ivan but Tony gets a happyverse? And I said we'd sort of done that for, well, not for Ivan specifically, but for Vorkosiganverse, we have a massive AU where we fixed the Escobar war and stuff and Padma is alive and Ivan had both parents growing up (and no need to mention That Time He Was Emperor for 5 minutes) and is a diplomat and engaged to René Vorbretten!

And Ivan looked right at me and said, "You're not nice."

jmtorres: (story of my life)
You may or may not have noticed, I've been posting to dw a lot less lately. I'm probably not going to go back to posting daily grumbles and random thoughts to dw, and if that was something you were interested in, or if we're friends enough that you'd want to keep up with me day-to-day, a lot of that kind of stuff is getting dumped into [ profile] decontextual now. At first it was just going to be a "random shit people say" amusement ground, which is why it got named Out of Context Theatre, but then I started following some fannish accounts and I got weirdly social what the hell ever: I'm [ profile] decontextual on twitter. Over here on dreamwidth I will probably be posting more essay-like content, things that have been percolating a while, as well as fanfiction and vids. If I ever finish any ever again.

Right, so that was online housekeeping. Moving on. Disjointed thoughts to follow.

Working was fucking nuts (redacted)

On Thursday I am flying out for the long weekend to see [personal profile] echan and [personal profile] jetpack_monkey (and [ profile] diannelamerc and [ profile] lizbetann). If there is anyone in the LA area who would like to meet up with me and/or them while I'm visiting, HOLLA.

I have this I don't even know, it might actually be a disorder, but apparently I am more likely to feel things are right with the world if I move all my crap around every year or so (if I'm not actually moving from one house to another). At present I'm considering essentially switching the TV/guest room and my bedroom--because my bedroom is bigger, and I want to turn the TV room into the VIDDING ROOM, and have my desk and vidding computer in there as well as the fiendishly clever ikea sofa bed the TV. While it would make it difficult to vid from bed, it would make vidding a) potentially more social, as covidders could hang out and clip from DVD or betas could hang out and watch random crap until needed but, like, in the same room and b) more likely to happen from some members of the House of Torres who don't like climbing over my endless piles of laundry to get to my vidding computer.

I measured everything and found a decent free designer online,, and then took some screenshots:

probably only interesting to people who will actually spend time in my house )

My to-do list is full of boring, grown-up things like endless piles of laundry and car maintenance and shoes. My plotbunny list lately is all:

--Harry Dresden is Not a Lesbian (Harry always-a-woman AU, spoiler cutting here for echan, who's only read to like book 2? but this should be safe for ysobel, who said she's up to book 4 ))
--WHERE ARE ALL MY PEPPERBOT NOTES, DAMN IT THIS NEEDS MORE PLOT, hahaha Steve is all "cool! the future is awesome! who else is a robot?"
--These Mistress Pepper notes are surprisingly complete, hahaha Steve is SO confused by them switching between Mr. Stark and Miss Potts and Tony and Pepper, because it's a scene/not scene thing that they're not copping to
--somewhere in the corner, Ivan is hiding from me all smug. I'll get you, my pretty.
jmtorres: Image of dessert. Text: The cream pie of justice flies one way. (dessert)
I've been hunting for Ivan in my head because most of the plot bunnies I have for him are less horrifying than other stuff I've been carrying around lately. But Ivan in his best Ivanish fashion has been slippery as an eel; [personal profile] niqaeli thinks he's wisely hiding from my idfic while I think he just hasn't forgiven me for that unfortunate edge case blending of a couple of AUs where he ended up publically compared to Ges Vorrutyer and the drunken breakdown was only partly an act.

Anyway, I finally figured out where he's been hiding: with Neal Caffrey, in modern-day New York. He's very smug about it. For all that Agent Burke is stumped by the Russian spaceman from the future crashing on Neal's couch, he's not doing anything about him. He comes off less weird than Mozzie, despite everything, so Peter's just at, "Okay, I don't get your friends. Tell him not to do anything illegal in front of me." So Ivan is smugly certain that plot cannot touch him here.

I am so very tempted to prove him wrong.


jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)

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