paper-writing is going SO well

[jmtorres]

...that I am soliciting writing suggestions. Specifically, suggestions for the Kryptonian Neal story, because I swear once upon a time it had some kind of crime-solving plot in there somewhere, and now all the bits in my head are Peter being really nosy about the sex lives of Kryptonians, based on Neal's rap sheet.

So I was thinking that I would ask you guys who else from DCU you would like in this story, bearing in mind that you will probably have to tell me who they are, why it would be awesome, and where I can find more information about the character, as my knowledge of comics comes largely from the really good, cracky Smallville fanfiction. (My versions of these characters are... informed by early SV, and I say early because I had a look at what happened with late SV and I am honestly kind of confused as to how there is still a show; and also somewhat by the respective Superman and Batman animated series, which I haven't seen in years and am contemplating acquiring...) PS I am hoping idea for characters to toss in the story will result plot! and not more wacky sexcapades (touching. with ungloved hands. on the FACE. Kryptonians: kind of repressed).

People involved so far:

--Superman, who let Neal out of the Phantom Zone because he'd served his time, and for all Neal's shenanigans Superman really doesn't think Neal's done anything that needs a hero to stop him, Peter's doing just fine. Also Superman is generally embarrassed about Krypton--the more he learns, the gladder he is he was raised on Earth!--and he has the ludicrous idea that since Neal is on Team They Fight Crime! now he might be interested in joining the League, to which Neal's response is a succinct "fuck off and die."

--Lex Luthor, developer of the pink kryptonite which Neal successfully pitches to Peter as a safe way to keep him restrained (it's totally harmless! nobody will be mutating into anything! the only side effect it has is mild gayness. What Neal somehow failed to mention and various people including Lex, in his case because it's funny, have failed to clarify is that pink kryptonite does not actually have any effect on superpowers at all, its only effect is mild gayness). I have a scene in my head where Peter emails off a request to Lexcorp for a pink kryptonite anklet and like, half an hour later gets a phone call from Lex personally, because Lex wants to confirm the actual FBI sent him this hilarious stupidity and like, his son's friends didn't hack fbi.gov to send prank emails (Robin totally could, and it is possible Kon is a bad influence on him). So then Peter has a very strange phone conversation about princess-cut pink kryptonite and a platinum-plated titanium chain. Also Lex's senatorial, law-making activities come up later in the context of the legality of Neal's immigration and citizenship, and the Lex/Clark subtext is kind of a running gag.

--Batman. [section edited] Occasionally Batman gets in the middle of Peter's cases, much to his frustration. Also he would like to have Batman's prints and DNA on file for exclusion purposes. (BATMAN WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT LEAVE FINGERPRINTS OR STRAY HAIRS AT CRIME SCENES. THAT IS WHAT THE GLOVES AND THE COWL ARE FOR.) Also it is not general knowledge that Batman is not a metahuman, he's just fucking crazy, though Neal knows because he's heard all the best gossip.

--grey_bard was suggesting potential sources of League gossip, so I have some Booster Gold and Blue Beetle to poke through.

--I was considering have Neal fanboy at Catwoman.

Who else should I toss in? Tell me why!

Comments

[branchandroot]

*is laughing too hard to breathe*

*laughs until she squeaks*

*has no substantive contribution, is laughing too hard*

[jmtorres]

Heee. *hands you a glass of water* Well now I'm curious. Which part got you?

[branchandroot]

Oh goodness! All of it! Well, okay, the pink kryptonite order especially. And Neil being a Catwoman fanboy.

[jmtorres]

Lex thinks it should be tasteful!

Lex is also about five minutes from running off to gloat to Clark that his research into how to bend Superman to his will is apparently going to be useful to the US government.

Neal totally is. "I admire your alleged work."

[traykor]

You do know that I have about ten years worth of the Justice League funny era in the closet, right? The JLI DeMatteis years, complete with choco addictions and full sarcasm.
The Titans are based in NYC. New York and Gotham do technically coexist in DC. Titan's Tower is in the East River. Not that Bruce doesn't get to New York fairly often, as the two are close enough that Dick is always able to get from Titans to Gotham in a couple of hours.
This means you can have any of the Titans running around to! I also have massive back issues for Titans.
Blue and Gold are great big gossips, usually with Babs and the Martian Manhunter. Guy Gardner's Bar, Warriors, notorious superhero hangout spot, is also in NYC for a good chunk of time. That's where gossip often happens.
Barbara Gordon has been an FBI consultant.
Blue Beetle actually also has worked for the FBI IIRC.

[jmtorres]

Getting into comics (and manga for that matter) is difficult for me, I have weird mental focusing issues with the text/image combo. So I... mostly absorb through audiovisual adaptations and comics wikis. But this story might be sufficient motivation for me to wrestle with primary source material. I am hoping you can guide me fairly specifically, because I *know* "here is a box of comics! have fun!" will short out my brain.

[traykor]

I can pull out specific points of character development.

I am still plugging for Warriors to have an appearance.

[jmtorres]

Hee. How widely notorious is it? Primarily within the superhero community, or would Peter know about it?

[traykor]

very very notorious. Of course Peter's heard about it.

[grey_bard]

There's always the option of Oracle - Hi, floating green all-knowing lady head! Sekritly Barbara Gordon, voyeur / superhero puppetmaster / queen hacker extraordinaire.

She has her on again, off again *thing*'s apartment video bugged (the Grayson cam!) "For his own good" and her amusement. He knows and even when in the off again phase, doesn't mind in the least.

Also she... like. Gen-doms? Black Canary, her primary superhero partner / subordinate / friend puppet. She, er. Introduces herself (as glowing computer head) by basically telling Canary "Wear this! I had it made for you! And dye your hair, you know you want to." And she *does*.

Thing. OH DCU.

And no one finds information better than Barbara Gordon and she's... remarkably unbothered by a spot of stealing from criminals. Somehow I think she and Neal would get along, and Peter might like her a good deal. Though neither would probably ever know who Oracle really was.

I am thinking Neal should con one of the many Invading Space Aliens that pop up in the DCU. He would enjoy it and be good at it. Saving Earth by pretending this is Not His Planet and he Doesn't Care. But he totally does! Earth is the Best Planet EVER.

[jmtorres]

I am imagining Peter having weird pride issues about going to Oracle. Like, damn it, he should be able to solve this himself. and Neal's like, "It's okay to admit it, Peter. Sometimes everyone needs a hero." Mockity mock.

I think invading space aliens would be even more funny if they were actually stealthy enough that the invasion was uncovered in the course of a white collar crime investigation. Peter is like, "My life has gotten so much weirder since I found out about you," and Neal's like, "What? I didn't invite them!"

[grey_bard]

*cough* There's always The Reach. Best Alien Invasion EVER.

Of course their plan came to fruition after Ted died, but handwave, handwave whatever different universe this one has Neal.

Basically, their brilliant plan was to seed a bunch of "natural" and "magical" disasters in waiting throughout the Earth, over the last few centuries, then come back now to secretly set them off, and come in and be like "HEY! Friendly alien race wants to helllllp you! We're so nice! Here, have all of our useful tech!"

With the plan that after like a hundred years of this, we'd be more and more dependant on them and basically a slave race. FUN.

So, you know. Maybe not the Reach? But sneaky invasions are fun to read and totally believable in DCU. Perhaps, like, financial version of the Reach? "Oh HI. We bring you shiny alien tech! And money! And restaurants! In no way are we plotting to undermine your currency and take over your economy through white collar crime and corporate espionage. NOPE totally legit!"

[grey_bard]

... Which is to say, yes. That would be an awesome idea.

[jmtorres]

Hee.

[medie]

. (THE GODDAMN BATMAN WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT LEAVE FINGERPRINTS OR STRAY HAIRS AT CRIME SCENES. THAT IS WHAT THE GODDAMN GLOVES AND THE GODDAMN COWL ARE FOR.)

Every Superman(Superwoman) muse I have in my head just bust out laughing. The Batmans, however, EPIC!BAT!POUT.

Oh dude, every single Green Lantern in the entire Corps knows who Neal is.

[jmtorres]

What, his crimes are just that legendary? *G*

[medie]

Either that or his escapes. *g*

[petra]

Small characterization note: if you have Batman use the term "goddamn" at any point, I will backbutton, but I will do it sadly because I bet most of this story will be awesome.

I think Barbara Gordon-as-Oracle would have a great time helping Peter out every now and then, as needed.

[jmtorres]

Heh. My outline notes are over-the-top in many places.

[traykor]

if she starts going Miller in characterization I will hit her IRL until she stops.

[jmtorres]

I love you too.

[traykor]

Its for your own good!

[petra]

Oh, good. ;)

[azurelunatic]

I think that phrasing works best in someone relaying information from Batman, but paraphrasing. Someone with a pottymouth.

[everysecondtuesday]

This sounds like it's going to be amazing. (Also, if you are including Tim-Robin and Kon, will you be including Bart?)

[niqaeli]

SHE MUST. bart is my faaaaaavourite. Okay, he's actually my favourite after Tim. BUT I REALLY HEART HIS LITTLE CRAZY ASS.

[noelia_g]

I have read this in class. I am never reading my flist again in class. Because I almost choked and I have tears in my eyes, and I'm supposed to be working on a translation and I can't see anything now.

I hope you're happy.

This is AMAZING.

[azurelunatic]

I feel the need to involve metaquotes if you've no objection.

[jmtorres]

Oh good lord. *braces self*

[azurelunatic]

BATMAAAAAAAN!

[rhi]

Over here from Metaquotes, and having now seen the picture in question, and read Neal's annotated rap sheet, would you mind horribly if I added you to my reading list so I don't miss any more of this glorious crack?

[jmtorres]

No objections here!

[rhi]

Thank you. I giggled so hard at Superman's notations and Peter's very bemused 'Well, that explains why he didn't want this on the official record.' And I loved Neal's 'I *never*' about the ankles. Wonderful fun, thanks!

comes in from metaquotes

[the_future_modernes]

AWESOME

Re: comes in from metaquotes

[jmtorres]

Hee!

[elf]

There is this scene. In my head. For weeks now. That won't go away.

Neal & Peter are staying with gazillionaire Bruce Wayne as they attempt to track down some international jewel thief that Neal almost certainly knows exactly who it is but isn't saying yet. (Bruce *offered*. Neal is not staying in an FBI-funding approved hotel when there's a mansion available. Which he's totally not casing; stop looking at me like that Peter.)

Neal & Peter are poking around some seedy part of Gotham (in my head, it's near New York, but not the same city) at night, and Stuff Happens. Bad guys, guns, maybe knives & bombs, and so on. Neal gets hurt--shot maybe.

Batman swoops in out of nowhere, takes down a pile of thugs, grabs Neal, cuts off the ankle cuff & throws it to Peter, and swoops away with Neal.

Peter goes crazy with cuffing the criminals and making calls to appropriate agencies ("Yes, dammit, the goddamn BATMAN stole my partner!") and yadda yadda and calling hospitals and finally makes it back to the mansion at dawn. Where Neal is sleeping in his own bed, all bandaged up, and Alfred is ready with coffee for Peter.

[jmtorres]

*laughs* Neal and Batman aren't on quite as good a terms as that; I am currently trying to figure out if Neal knows Bruce--or knows that Bruce is Batman's alter ego; gossip being what it is, and his interests lying where they do, he's picked up enough about Superman's day life that he could make an educated guess, but I dunno if... ha. OH. Batman says something bitchy to him about having bought the League their clubhouse, by which he means space station, which means Neal is going to have a dollar figure to match up and there's not than many people to match it to. *Hee.* I begin to suspect there will be a scene at the end of the story where Neal gives Peter the prints and DNA he wants because he's figured out they're totally already on file, under a different name.

[sarah]

Also he would like to have Batman's prints and DNA on file for exclusion purposes.

I can hear the conversation in the lab now:

CODIS Admin: "Dude, just put Batman's profile in the staff index."

Analyst: "Um. I don't think 'vigilante' counts as 'staff.'"

CODIS Admin: "The number of furlough days we're taking this year? It sure as hell does. Put it in."

[jmtorres]

Heeeeeee.

[azurelunatic]

oh god I should not have been eating that cookie reading this.