jmtorres: Don and Charlie, text: FBI Agent, Supergenius professor of applied mathematics, THEY FIGHT CRIME! (they fight crime!)
I'm wandering through my bajillion open tabs, as one does at four in the morning, and just read this essay on bisexuality by [livejournal.com profile] gyzym, posted earlier this month and which I probably set aside during finals week. I have no idea where I was linked from, more's the pity.

Anyway, after reading it, I felt compelled to comment about my own sexuality in-the-ways-that-it-intersects-with-bisexuality and well, I'll reproduce it here:

deep thoughts on attraction and the self-limiting factors of labels

I'm about 4.5 on the Kinsey scale and I identify as lesbian. But the fact that I am not a total six means sometimes there are dudes I find attractive (and sometimes really, really not--like I look at some of my fandom friends' objects of interest and am confused? like, I understand that other people are attracted to other things than me but I cannot grok it: like, say, Supernatural. I have heard those boy described as model pretty and... I don't see it. Imagine me with your porn headtilt.) but okay: on some level it's always weird to me when I find a dude attractive. I am more comfortable with attraction to dudes when they are pretty, even though my attraction to women covers a very broad range of looks and is not limited to pretty. But, like, for example... I don't know if you've ever watched Numb3rs? The premise is: two brothers! Charlie is a genius mathematician! Don is an FBI agent! TOGETHER THEY FIGHT CRIME! (And some other people. Charlie's hot mathematician gf? RAWWWWRRR can I have her for my very own, please.) But so, early on, I thought Charlie was cute, and I was okay with this, because especially in the early seasons when he has long hair he is totally the pretty one. Don, being the FBI agent, is totally the manly one. And then one day I caught myself looking at Don's lips and I was like WHAT. Like, it shocked me to be attracted to the manly dude (even if his lips were pretty).

I have lesbian guilt. I know this, and I know it's ridiculous, and I have it anyway. Like, regardless of attraction, I could never see myself with a dude, and part of it is I don't know how I would explain to people the "I am a lesbian dating a dude, no, don't try to make it make sense." And I can't even figure out the chicken and egg issue on that--can I not figure out how to explain it because it would never happen? or does fear of explaining it prevent it from happening? Maybe I would have an easier time in my own head if I identified as "bisexual with a preference for women" but I don't, lesbian is the identification that works for me (with that addendum about being a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale, where necessary). But holy crap does being a lesbian have some baggage if you are not a total six, and it astounds me that queer identities have enough of a cultural narrative attached that I can get mired in feeling guilty for being attracted to not the "right" kind of person when a heterosexual attraction could, technically, drop me into the dominant cultural narrative. I feel like, goddamnit, ALL THE STUPID BOXES CONTRADICT EACH OTHER.

So while I have a label and it is mine and I identify with it, oh my god, I wish society as a whole could chuck out labels.

(...hi. This is probably tangentially relevant to your entry at best, but um, I felt strongly and wanted to talk about it?)


In conclusion: why do I not have an Amita icon?

Sigh

Apr. 8th, 2011 03:03 pm
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (supernatural)
I just read a Supernatural fic, off a rec, no less, from an author whose work I have frequently enjoyed, and it...

It sort of got peanut butter on my, hmm, asparagus.

And I kind of want the fic I thought it was from the description. Which, by the way, was neither peanut butter nor asparagus, but more like... sashimi.

This metaphor may possibly be getting away from me.

I should probably go eat something.
jmtorres: Image of dessert. Text: The cream pie of justice flies one way. (dessert)
On the vidding front, I seem to be making a Tron vid. It will apparently contain feminist metaphors (if I manage coherency, which is a toss-up at this point) and possibly surprise femslash. Okay, probably not. Hey, if you see it, I'm taking credit.

On the fanfiction front, I currently have two main stories vying for attention.

The first is a Vorkosigan story which I'm currently calling Ivan Vorpatril: Drama Queen, Or, The Hilarious Rom-Com of Padma and Alys. Ivan's previously unknown dramatic streak comes out when his mother sends him to deliver to Ekaterin a welcome-to-the-family gift and he tells her how his father courted his mother, and various other tidbits designed to make Ekaterin feel less as if High Vor society will eat her whole for the scandals she apparently found herself in the middle of. I thought that was a complete, if dual-track, story all its own, but then Ivan whipped out an invitation for Ekaterin to attend the Reading of Faults. He tells me this is a Time of Isolation tradition that has almost entirely died out in which a friend of the groom will slander him most vilely--to scare his bride off, or legitimately warn her what she's getting into, or possibly just troll everyone for the lulz, depending on what fairy tales you heard as a child. Ivan admits that this is not really practiced anymore and in any case may not be relevant when SHE asked HIM to marry her, but he's been collecting this list since he was sixteen years old and he WILL NOT BE DENIED THIS OPPORTUNITY. Alys and Cordelia invited themselves along as "chaperons"--Alys is reminiscing about how Aral read Padma's faults, which was apparently in the trolling for lulz category, and Cordelia complains that no one told her Aral's faults. Alys replies that with everything she'd been through by the time they met her, they decided that if Aral had faults she hadn't seen already, they didn't know to know. Anyway, it feels like there should be a third story on the theme of "Ivan butts in to commentate Ekaterin and Miles's engagement, and also Padma and Alys were adorable thirty-five years ago, FYI," just to round things out, but I don't know what it is yet.

The other story rattling around my head is fic for the Supernatural episode "The French Mistake," which is the only episode I've seen all season, so I don't feel qualified to write the fic. I'm thinking that after semester's over if this is still something I care about I'll ask someone whose opinion I trust if I will be able to laugh at season 6, and if yes will mainline for Beltane and then write it. It would be um, meta-y and rpf-y and feature twitter and tin hats and script pages and *cough* a very special recasting.

And now, to bed with me! *flop*
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (ruby)
So instead of working on work or even working on useful fic, my brain has decided to write fic for Supernatural "The French Mistake," and I just. I don't even.
jmtorres: (meta)
I have no compulsion to be prosaic and coherent about it. Have a chat log.

Read more... )

In other news, the Bel in my head, the one who was foolish enough to marry Miles, has gotten stuck explaining to Nikki that one-night-stand with Ivan and differing sexual mores of Barrayar and Beta whilst avoiding Ekaterin's hairy eyeball. To my amusement and Miles's, the point at which Bel is like, "Okay, we're wandering out of kid-appropriate territory" is regarding, um, motivations. Miles is like, "huh?" and Bel snaps back, "Would you explain to a kid about your black moods?" Miles is sort of shocked to find that anyone else ever has black moods. Ekaterin and Nikki are mostly just confused. Somehow (I'm thinking Nikki) Ivan hears just enough about this conversation to confront Bel about "wait, just what kind of self-flagellation was I functioning as for you?" And then Bel facepalms a lot.

Meme time

Feb. 15th, 2011 01:43 am
jmtorres: a flying sheep, which I am informed has special significance in World of Warcraft (meme)
Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. With the variant from torch: Upon request, I will quote a random line from any of these files.

Roughly in order of most recently touched to hasn't been touched since 2003 with a small amount of by fandom (my WIP folder is actually sorted by fandom, so you know, the ones that only list one fandom and say 'crossover' are not meaningless in context. But also when I sorted by my recent date it was imperfect because I've had overlapping/longterm fandoms).

ivan and gregor
lady bel vorkosigan
secret agent ivan
V60
the john and ruby show
The surfer dudes came up to the house...
Kurt's Dad Dies AU
studio60/trust me xover
Kryptonian Neal
Archer and T'Pol
rubyverse snippets
Ruby decides to set Dean up with the ...
Once, in the middle of a fight about ...
The Other 179 Steps
five AUs
The beginning was easy, mostly becaus...
superhero neal
beautifulthings
"Man, I could go for some pie right a...
rubyverse outline
clairefic
kitty MerlinShared
Untitled
the once and future king
Chuck epic AU outline
wrongwrongOMGwrong
epic AU sequel B
Chuck vs the Intersect, Once more with Feeling
Uther's ghost
Zoe A
otherdisasters
misshornblower
ghostsoup
OatTyule
joeled
trashyvulcanromance
danielhauntsjack--revisions-8-13-08
AmitaAtlantis
michael
housesga
lightsout
magicathosians
simonnarim
AP
teylaliz
lesbiansperm
meridanfix
klausG
eroicaimmortal
poly60sketch
vanityfair
mistresspepper
tonysmorningafterfreakout
ironmaiden
electricsheep
owensgoon
clone
martharose
marthasarahjane
dextorch
pwjack
fuckingbipolarthreesome
danielrose
postroseten
jackremembers
diefdeaf
ghostvictoria
dsfranniekids
arrayfic
hugheshome
royhugheslies
salamander
gracieis
winryroy
4fingers
carnivale
3impossibletasks
kierastory
delivery
loioshpern
cawti
oat-xover
book1
book2
book3
book4
lomyw
ladiesaux
Ghinfidelity
GHfamilyrelations
topaya
toaster
ayaaya
ghmx
dreamau
wb-laby
wb-hl
kenneth-joan
jackivan
theboys
piotrAU
fishing
kml3
allgay
au
qlb5
circuit
memory
mpregdon
agentramunjan
randompr0n
threetwo
riverxover
wingwilson
wilsoncooks
efcxover
amandabday
prize
hlbtvssnippetybippet
ats-hl
OUaTiM-hl
deathamanda
marryjoe
kingsransom
joeknows
notmethos
bastardmethos
mythseeker
salzer
neitherservenorreign
GGslash
gilmoreslayers
storyofbanandginji
twinloss
fcwk
malriver
auofdoom
wkff
sixthport
lgmalt
universe-hop
7dayscross
green
7u
lettersfromtelemachus
DRverse
lenivan
santaclauseAU
valentomb
lomsopadoom
fragments
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
I want to make a Girl Genius vid to "Banditos," but downloading all the pages is going to take seriously forever oh my god. But it'll be hilarious? Mistaken and misrepresented identities! Idiots EVERYWHERE why won't they get out of the way.

I want to make a Nanny vid to "A Simple Desultory Philippic," and I will be the only person who ever thinks that's funny, amirite? Also I kind of want to filk/replace part of it, and I don't think I can do just part of it and carry it, and um. Life is hard, yo.

Glee is coming back! When the hell is that? I've been told but I didn't process. [personal profile] traykor and I are making an awesome Glee vid and I should get some stuff on the timeline, ever.

I wanted to make someone a festivids treat based on their dear festividder letter, but I didn't get to due to a combination of factors (the holidays became extra crazysauce family time there, I enrolled in winter session class, I got an extension on my primary assignment and spent several days I would have spent on the treat making my main vid really shine) and now I don't know what to do about that. Do I a) admit that I may never get to that vid without a deadline hanging over my head, b) try to make it anyway in my copious free time, c) stop being coy and say what it is since I'm not making it for an anonymous gift exchange anymore?

White Collar convinced me I should keep working on that vid, I mean it's half done and the show handed me more footage.

And if I make the White Collar vid, I should make the Tru Calling vid to "Madeliene," and let's face it, Tru Calling is terrible brain rot [personal profile] niqaeli will probably watch with me, unlike Nanny.

I am occasionally getting twinges on the stack of Supernatural vids I had wanted to make but I so am not in the fandom anymore so um. We'll see if that ever changes I guess?
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
My festivid is a hit. I am refraining heroically from answering comments, which are awesome. (I also keep seeing my gift, the awesome Marion from Indiana Jones vid, on recs lists, which brings me glee.) [personal profile] niqaeli is collecting an entry of quotes from the vid mines that I wouldn't let her post at the time because they're spoilery, but the schedule on festivids is so stretched out that we're reaching the point of losing context. "Why was [char] a vampire?" I found myself asking regarding one of the quotes that was hilarious at the time. I remembered eventually. It's spoilery.

Today I discovered a new portmanteau for [personal profile] niqaeli's favorite SPN pairing: Casquatch. We died and died of laughter.

Last week we went to see Red at the dollar theater--that being the flick where aging ex-spies (Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren) are on somebody's hit list and being pursued by up-and-coming spy (Karl Urban). We found it hilarious and adorable. It almost but not quite passed Bechdel. I'm not sure I would find it as charming on second viewing because violence against women )

Watched the last two episodes of White Collar. My memory for the one last week is full of holes. Oh wait, it's coming back to me. Burke's Seven. Right. Did you know [personal profile] niqaeli and I have a pet theory that El totally was a con and Peter figured her out in a way he couldn't arrest her for (among other things I like this theory for decreepifying the surveillance photo courtship: it was legitimate case surveillance!) and either she knew Neal and lets Neal think Peter doesn't know this for hilarity or Neal has only recently discovered her shadowy past and recognizes her reputation and is all OMG HOW WHAT YOU WERE SO AWESOME I DON'T EVEN. Anyway, with that theory, most El scenes get an extra twenty points of sweeeeeet.

So the most recent episode had the potential to joss the vid I'm working on, and I've been expecting to be jossed since--okay, no, I was expecting to be jossed last November but I've since given up on it (my attitude at this point is SHOW, PROVE ME WRONG! JOSS ME!)--but far from jossing me, this episode provided more fodder for the vid. my thoughts on this week's episode )

In other news, Ivan quietly went under and waited out Yuletide and Festivids and this week resurfaced. Bits of three of my four active Vorkosigan novellas of last year are once again taking over my brain (and the fourth is waiting for Bel to come out of hibernation). And I haven't even reread the books again or read any fic lately (except for [personal profile] dira's this evening, which made me cry at the sweet, and I would link but I'm on bit and I can't be bothered to deal with the annoying screenness to hunt down the URL ETA http://dira.dreamwidth.org/561801.html /ETA). So I decided to try for 300 words a day all year on one of those four plot bunnies, which at this point in the year would give me 100K by December 31, and hopefully enough pieces to string together a whole postable story or two and a lot of hilarious outtakes. Those of you on my WIP filter will get to watch me muddle through out of order!

Work: my hours are getting cut stupid low sigh.
School: I have another nominee for the "film class from hell" tag.
Cope: Hahaha what is that. At least I am still to some extent getting shit done?
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (ruby)
I cosplayed Ruby at Club Vivid and [personal profile] luminosity commented that I was playing the dead femme fatale. I had to headtilt and remember that for the rest of fandom, yes, she is dead. But not for me, because I live in another universe as far as Supernatural is concerned.

I happened to mention this [personal profile] niqaeli, whose response was that, well, okay, the host body's kind of a walking corpse, but Ruby isn't dead in any meaningful way, and how do we dissect the deadness of demontude. We were stopped at a red light so I let go of the wheel and took her hands and said, "No really, honey, she was stabbed with the demon-killing knife. As far as canon and most of fandom are concerned, she's really, really dead." And niq started cracking up because she had completely forgotten, as she also lives in another universe with regards to Supernatural, although hers involves the phrase "Ruby, the archangel" and Gabriel being an asshole for kicks.

In case you were wondering about Olga, it's not like I didn't specifically go looking for all the blood and gore and demon-shooting and demon-stabbing and somehow I left out that part of the season 4 finale, so I think it's safe to say she's not dead either.

The funny thing is that there are shows for which fandom has declared Didn't Happen (see also: Richie Ryan, Alex Krycek, and Daniel Jackson, where the power of their denial combined with lack of regular work for a scifi-turned-serious actor combined to MAKE IT CANONICAL), but as far as we can tell, there isn't any organized/widespread denial about Ruby. So hey. Put your hands up if Ruby lives on in your hearts, regardless of what may or may not have happened on the show.
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (ruby)
I made a vid. It premiered at Vividcon tonight.

Title: The Boy King
Vidder: [personal profile] jmtorres (with an assist from [personal profile] niqaeli)
Fandom: Supernatural
Song: Sheep Marketing Ploy by Tom Smith
Warnings: Dude, it's Supernatural. Specific warnings here.
Summary: Sam Winchester, the Death Sheep from Hell.

Download link (please right-click/save-as): The Boy King. (27MB avi)

embedded on youtube )

So.

Aug. 1st, 2010 10:58 pm
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
I want to make a vid at Vividcon. I was toying with one idea but... I decided the one idea was too much emotional work, primarily. So I'm pulling up other items on the burner and putting it to a vote. I don't swear to abide by the vote but you know, might influence me.

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14


What vid should I make at vividcon?

View Answers

Big Wolf on Campus - Scott Bakula. Pros: source makes me happy. Cons: source is late nineties VHS rip.
2 (14.3%)

Enterprise - Mrs. Robinson. Pros: source makes me happy. Cons: Lots of source, also few other people will watch with me.
0 (0.0%)

Leverage - I Drink Alone. Pros: source makes me happy; this vid will probably only get made if I can do it in one weekend. Cons: I haaaate Nathan Ford.
1 (7.1%)

Sherlock Holmes - Bad Romance. Pros: very short source, many people want this. Cons: effects heavy, has been awhile since I was passionate, song cut is um *almost* done.
3 (21.4%)

Supernatural - Come Out And Play. Pros: About half done already. Cons: A little burned out on SPN right now.
1 (7.1%)

White Collar - The Distance. Pros: source makes me happy, about a third done. Cons: Working off a back-up file due to crashed drive, and remastering that finished section from DVD rip.
7 (50.0%)

jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
I am going to be brave enough to put this list out here publicly, because as much as I might irrationally fear it, no one's going to poach my vid ideas, for two reasons: vidders all have more ideas of their own than they will ever have time to make (I know I do), and no one can make the vid I would make, because I am unique (just like everyone else).

Vids that live in my head:

Being Human - Season of Illusions by Ladytron (the abusive boyfriend vid)
Big Wolf on Campus - Scott Bakula by Sunspot (the Merton's gay dilemma vid)
Enterprise - Mrs. Robinson by The Lemonheads (the trashy holonovel vid)
Merlin - Falcon in the Dive (the [personal profile] ysobel is going to vid with me damn it vid)
Meta - Tradition (the two finger salute vid)
Multifandom - Beautiful Things by Bobby Darin (the OOH SHINY heist tribute)
Multifandom - Woodstock by Joni Mitchell (the escaping dystopia vid)
Multifandom - various (the Badfic vid)
Red Dwarf - Never Set the Cat on Fire by Frank Hayes (the co-vid with [personal profile] traykor)
Sherlock Holmes - Bad Romance by Lady Gaga (the objectifying the masculine vid)
Supernatural - Please Don't Leave Me by Pink (the candy tears vid)
Supernatural - Come Out and Play by The Offspring (the thesis on season 4 vid)
Supernatural (ish) - Panic Switch by Silversun Pickups (Janie's vid)
Supernatural (ish) - Dark Eyes (the history of Ruby vid)
Supernatural (ish) - Turning the Page by, probably, Metallica (the fixing your con vid)
Tru Calling - Madeleine by Jonathan Coulton (the I had to watch it, I have to mock it vid)
White Collar - The Distance by Cake (the Kate as quest object vid)
White Collar - Pisco Bandito by Moxy Früvous (the everyone needs a themesong vid)

This is not all-inclusive, though I am a little startled at some of the older projects that sat up and said HEY when I was making this list.

*ponders list* Three vids primarily about heterosexual relationships (all negative!, in different ways), three vids primarily about homosexual relationships (hmm, more ambiguous), three vids that are essentially male character studies (ranging), three vids that are essentially female character studies (all sympathetic), three vids that are primarily about social issues before any specific fannish content, three vids that my brain files as crack (instead of in any of the preceding categories).

Hmm.

Anyone wanna talk vids with me?
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
I made a vid for Vividcon Premieres. If you are into that sort of thing, you can read content warnings about it here.

My vid for vividcon )

ETA: And you can find the vid here.
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (coma girl)
I'm skimming my plot bunnies tag because apparently what I need is to remind myself how many stupid epic stories live in my head, and I just found the entry back when I thought I wouldn't be consuming enough SPN to write a Jess lives (and is awesome) AU. Hahahahah fuck me sideways.


ETA: Why aren't I asleep yet? Fuck me, that would be because I stopped for iced coffee wouldn't it.
jmtorres: (daddy winchester)
So I was reading the very, very different pilot script of Supernatural and damn, I want fic for that universe. Like, I want to start a comm and make people write me fic for that universe.

It's just... totally different.

Sam and Dean's mom died when they were nine and eleven, in a car crash presumably caused by their father's drunk driving. Also when their father talked about the thing with black eyes, everyone thought he was schizophrenic. Sam and Dean were raised by their Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Tommy and hardly ever saw their father, so when Dean shows up at Sam's graduation after having dropped out of contact for two years and mentions that he spent those two years hanging out with Dad, Sam's reaction is OH MY GOD YOU GOT DAD'S CRAZY STOP THE CAR LET ME OUT.

Dean does not let him out, because he is taking Sam to hunt a ghost so Sam will get it and believe him about the supernatural.

Metric of how far different things are: Sam does not immediately recognize the Impala.

other moments of awesome )

They're... not children of war. They have family ties. Sam has a living girlfriend. They have, between them, two years and like, two days of hunting experience. It is a totally different ballgame. Seriously I want fanfiction in this universe.

fuck

Jun. 27th, 2010 01:17 am
jmtorres: (irene adler)
So I found a song that would be perfect for calling out the dead women issue on Supernatural. Except that I'm tired and I don't want to make that vid and it depresses me and I'm tired of making issue vids and.

Fuck.

Damn it, I'm going to go work on the spreadsheet. If I'm making this thing, I'm backing it up with some fucking numbers.

If only dust could talk
What would we hear it say?
Before it's brushed aside
Just as it's swept away
It's just the evidence
It's of no consequence
It's only flesh and bone
Why don't we leave it alone?

delicious

Jun. 25th, 2010 04:15 am
jmtorres: Angelina Ballerina, children's book dancing mouse, text: Flirty Tease Mouse: Trashtalk Virgin" (contradictions)
Most of the fanfiction I tag on delicious is... well, it would be wrong to say outright that it's all recs, some of it just falls under the category of "things I don't hate," because sometimes I want to find that completely mediocre story I read that one time again. But I don't usually tag badfic, and I did tonight, and I was sort of... enthusiastically blunt, and I got to thinking, how would I feel if I went vanity-deliciousing and found something like that?

So now I've gone vanity-deliciousing in search of the most hilarious comments, which is not how I usually do it, but it's fun!

vanity deliciousing feeds my vanity )

Wow so that was pseudomasturbatory.

I also appear to have opened up a handful of plotbunnies that never got written but which I detailed thoroughly enough that people tagged them. Including how the entire crime world keeps saving Iron Klaus's ass because he's a friend of Eroica's, how Rodney McKay married Tony Stark for KNOWLEDGE, and how Kirk accidentally caused Spock's candidacy for Federation president. Because I need to unearth more bunnies to live constantly in my head.

Sigh

Jun. 24th, 2010 12:57 am
jmtorres: Quinn from Sliders asleep with book open on his chest. Text: Sweet dreams. (sleep)
As hopeful as that icon is, I'm beginning to think I need a zombie or something to use for when I can't sleep, at all, which, fuck me, I'm split shifting my sleep again. Whyyy.

Do I stay up until ^H^H^H^H^H wow I'm tired enough that I nearly used niq's rl name. Right. Do I stay up until niq gets back or try to fall down some more?

ETA: What. OH my god what. *DYING* So I came across a vid on youtube, Sam/Ruby, Lady Gaga, because HE CAN'T READ HER POKER FACE. And the best part is that it is played TOTALLY SRSLY. Oh my god I can't breathe.

After this I'm watching the Sam/Ruby/Dean "Bad Romance" (PLEASE let that be an appropriate use of the / symbol) and the Ruby/Sam/Dean "Love Game" (LIKEWISE). Hahahaha oh youtube.

ETA2: Worth a view--

Alejandro, blondes of Supernatural wish they could stop getting refrigeratored for the Winchester men.

Hahahah.

Jun. 23rd, 2010 04:05 am
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
I just saw an icon that said "It was a robot head!"

ETA: adventures in fic hunting: apparently someone once wrote a story about Ruby doing something that gives Dean powers, and it was apocafic, from what I can tell from the limited summary info/tags, and this sounds like three things I would adore, and of course this person has since changed their username and locked up everything but RPF. Google only finds me a rec to the same link and naturally archive.org robots were blocked. I feel weird reporting all that like yes I was trying to stalk down this fic the author clearly wanted to pretend never to have written, but damn it, why can't I have nice things?

*headdesk*

Jun. 22nd, 2010 06:10 am
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (ruby)
So I find "evil!Sam" to be a frustratingly useless designation. People tend to use it when he's being both wantonly cruel and ruthlessly practical. I do not want to read about Sam the reveling, murdering rapist, but I would be interested in reading about Sam who would do anything to accomplish his goals. And fandom seems to use "evil!Sam" for both of these.

In a way I suppose this is supported by the show's philosophy, which seems to be that no good can come of evil. For instance, where I would feel that power is not good or evil, what you do with power (or do in order to gain power) is good or evil, the show would seem to suggest that no good can ever come of Sam using his power, because its source is demonic, therefore it is necessarily evil in and of itself. Therefore there is no distinction in how Sam uses his power: whether he uses it with the best or the worst intentions, it is still evil.

But if demons were human once, or angel, if evil is a choice... why isn't a choice Sam can make, or not make, rather than the inevitable result of powers?

IT'S A VID

Jun. 19th, 2010 01:36 am
jmtorres: (daddy winchester)
first draft complete! does anyone want to beta my Supernatural vid?
jmtorres: (daddy winchester)
Right, I think this bit will be My Bloody Valentine, then. Naked Cupid ftw.
jmtorres: Animated icon showing Iz and Max from Roswell serious and grinning like fools. Text: alien love/shiny alien love. (shiny)
I'm running range check on this vid right now (which makes sure that data isn't too bright or saturated for television; if it is, you dump Broadcast Safe filter on it and it clamps the relevant above max data). Now, normally stuff you get that's been on TV? Passes range check. And only stuff you've fucked around with fails. And furthermore I'm vidding Supernatural; if there was a "your footage is too dark, no one will be able to see jack shit" check, I would expect it to go off every four frames. (There is not. Even though it is actually possible to have blacks blacker than broadcast black. Go figure.)

However, it would appear Supernatural fucks around at the edge of range a lot. So far, things that have set off the meter:

--the burning light of SATAN
--Sam killing Alistair
--Sam killing Lilith
--gunfire
--Colt bullets burning out demons
--backlighting through venetian blinds
--things Sam sees in visions
--the COVERS of CHUCK'S BOOKS (seriously what)
--candles

PS Sam was like, two feet from Daddy Azazel when he shot him in the leg. There should not be a three-frame time gap between him firing and Azazel being hit. Just saying.

ETA: Relevant Bruce the Yak quote: What's the sound of one luma clamping?

....WAIT.

Jun. 15th, 2010 05:33 am
jmtorres: (daddy winchester)
Deep vidding questions part #8951

Hmm. Should the authorial voice be Chuck, or should it be BECKY?

demons.

Jun. 13th, 2010 09:58 pm
jmtorres: (daddy winchester)
For vidding purposes, I have pulled up Jus in Bello, and honestly if I ever have a hard time figuring out where to go for this vid all I need to do is check the list of episode title abbreviations [personal profile] my girlfriend loves to use that I always have to look up (probably the reason there's so much AHBL in this vid so far). (PS honey I have to show you this. *flail hands*)

Anyway, JiB. This bit always gets me:

Henriksen: I... shot the sheriff.
Dean: But you didn't shoot the deputy.

And Sam's LOOK. Just. Oh my God. It is the "I am disowning you" look. The "shut up, jackass" look. The "how are we even RELATED" look. Yeah, I kind of heart that look.

It might be going in the vid.

Or maybe I'll just stick to the holy water swirly.

Sigh

Jun. 12th, 2010 12:15 am
jmtorres: Nic Lea played a robot on Outer Limits. Dose of denial: Krycek replicant. (Krycek)
So once upon a time [personal profile] sineala made an X-files vid called Sorry about Krycek. I remember at the time she hadn't watched "Existence," which is the episode in which Krycek dies (see also: my icon. I watched it, I just chose to ignore it), but she needed the clip. So as I recall it she scrolled through the episodes with her hands over her eyes, put a clip on the timeline and let it render it was magically the exact clip she needed.

I find myself wistfully thinking of that, wondering if I could have pulled it off, oh, six times in quick succession. Because I'm up on SPN now, but I'm kind of having viewer's remorse. Oh well. What's seen is seen, yeah? And it's not like I don't live in AU-land overtime with bells on anyway.

Did anyone else think that maybe spoiler cut, or am I the last person on the internet to have seen this? ) I mean, just sayin'.
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
I have ANOTHER Supernatural vid bunny. This is um... let me count... s4, blood goatee, janie, fixin' your con, id vid, candy tears... the seventh? Maybe? SPN vid I've seriously wanted to make.

This one is epically obviously *cough.* Like Candy Tears but less subtle. This vid bunny gives great insight into exactly how seriously I take the show.

You KNOW there will be like fourteen extremely seriousface SPN vids in VVC premieres. Do they really also need mine? I THINK SO.
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
The Epistles of @mishacollins by [personal profile] jmtorres. Also on AO3.

This story is RPF/Supernatural as told via Misha Collins's twitter. It contains 37 tweets, 3,442 characters, bizarre pairings, dead animals, tentacles, pegging, twitter users both real and imagined used herein in an entirely fictional fashion, and the angelphone.

Read more... )

Um

Jun. 6th, 2010 12:13 am
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
I need a beta for RPF/SPN @mishacollins fic.

ETA: Or not. I DON'T NEED NO STINKING BETA. *impatiently posts*
jmtorres: (stand-in)
I want a new default/writing icon. Thoughts/requirements: female character in a current or enduring fandom of mine, preferably in the act of writing or drawing, although I am also considering the thought of text tattoo (text need not be English/Latin alphabet, though I would like to know what it says). Studio 60 is in my brain a bit, so I thought about Matty at his computer (an icon saying "I am eating it" would crack me up) but fairly rapidly determined that no, I really did want a woman, and none of the women from Studio 60 speak to me emphatically enough for default icon material. Then I considered Supernatural and I went poking for Ruby and spell diagrams or devil's traps or something but I think most of that is elided out. I have a reasonable shot of Anna and a blood sigil, but a) Anna makes my brain hurt and b) she looks really freaked out, which is non-ideal. I'm halfway contemplating an icon of Pam looking over her shoulder laughing at Dean about her "Jesse forever" tramp stamp, but a) I dunno what I think about using, for this purpose, ink that outlived its purpose, and b) I'm not that big a Pam girl. I remembered Lady Gaga has a ton of ink, but curiously the cinematography in her videos doesn't fetishize it. (For instance, I am not sure I will ever figure out what she has on her left shoulder.) I am most interested on the long German text she has on her inner arm, partly because I'm mostly likely to get it in frame with her face, and partly because of what that text is--a Rainer Maria Rilke quote, "In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?"

Okay, so far, images I'm considering (that I would probably want to add text to)--
http://jmtorres.dreamhosters.com/images/jesseforever.jpg
http://jmtorres.dreamhosters.com/images/germantat.jpg
http://jmtorres.dreamhosters.com/images/recliningtat.jpg

Any thoughts on other characters that might suit my criteria, or other places to find images of the strong contenders that might suit my criteria?

All of which is in aid of (because one must have the appropriate icon for the post):

I feel like my brain is roiling with epic WIPs lately and I want to note them all (and give anyone who wants opportunity to um, encourage anything they like).

---

Vorkosigan 60, which really ought to get a proper working title for the story as opposed to the 'verse. I went back looking for records of ever talking about this, and I don't think I managed to properly explain it to my journal any time in the three years I've had the bunny. See, back in... early 2007, I think, is when I broke and let [personal profile] niqaeli show me Sorkin's meta RPF crack, there were odd bits about how Danny ran the show like, um, the whole machiavellian control freak manipulation of the focus group data to make Matt start fighting back about politics in his writing, and the exchange regarding intermittent power outages caused by a palm tree:

Danny: How much do I wanna know about this?
Cal: As little as possible.
Danny: 'kay.

So I had this thought that had me literally on the floor laughing, and if I remember right [personal profile] niqaeli ended right there with me while the boys of the household sort of... eyebrowed at us. That thought was that Matt and Danny would be good ImpSec officers.

That is basic concept of the fusion. Details have sorted out thusly: Danny's Barrayaran, a captain, in Galactic Affairs. He trains up agents to work as responsibly as if there is no safety net by attempting to convince them he is not actually paying attention to anything they do--so they'll get shit done because if they don't, it's not getting done. Illyan threw him mediocre agents to sharpen up in this manner. There's a fair number of agents who recall Captain Tripp with... fond terror. Matt is Komarran, Danny went to college on Komarr, met him, and sort of dragged him home. Matt is Danny's pet analyst and his specialty is spotting domestic assassination attempts using galactic resources. He sort of chews on invisible problems from both ends and then says "There, that shipment of phlebotinum, so and so's using that for this plot." It's a... heavily intuitive pattern recognition thing. He couldn't tell you how he picks out what's important, but once he's at the conclusion, he can point to all the data points that got him there, and he's right. It relies hugely on having reams of accurate, seemingly trivial data. The first time he gets really fouled up is circa Civil Campaign, because one of the reports he mines regularly for currents in high Vor society is Byerly's, and Byerly started falsifying/leaving many things out of his reports. Not that Dono was a mystery that would have concerned Matt much, just that Byerly's reports got sparse while he was covering for Dono.

There's two main plot threads to the story I'm writing--one is that Matt and Danny get split up, which neither of them copes with well. Illyan had some patience for their special partnership but management has recently changed at ImpSec, and not all the personnel details came to Allegre intact. And also: without yet knowing why he's off (Dono not yet revealed, the hole in the data not yet obvious) Matt has been off, so the apparent efficacy of his and Danny's partnership is tarnished. So Matt's getting transferred and Danny's trying to pull strings to get him back, which is... you don't go around department heads in ImpSec, really, you don't. You most certainly do not go to the retired former head of ImpSec and ask for a social introduction to a potential patron who could somehow intervene on your behalf with the Emperor, because that's who you have to go to if you're going over the current head of ImpSec. You don't do any of that. Unless you're Danny Tripp and completely co-dependent to the point that it uh, interferes with your judgement.

The other main plot thread is the mystery that Matt's trying to unravel with no good sense of what pieces he's missing. It centers on Harriet Vorhayes, née Vorrutyer (which is part of the reason Byerly's inaccurate reports are so crucial here; he's stopped reporting family gossip). Matty has been inappropriately hung up on the married Vor lady for a long time; not involved, just, Danny really wishes he would... not attempt to socialize with her. So while Danny indulges Matt's requests for more data about her, because Matt's hunches pan out nine times out of ten, Danny is also quietly headdesking about stalking goddamn Harriet of all people. (Harriet's family history is... of import, so out of not spoiling the nature of the plot Matt uncovers, I will not go into it here.)

The eventual intersection of the Harriet mystery and Danny trying to climb the Vor for a patron lands squarely on Gregor being Gregor at them. Gregor being quietly, intensely Imperial is quite possibly my favorite thing in the entire Vorkosigan universe, so naturally that's where the whole story I'm writing is aimed at. So that's what Vorkosigan 60's about. Heh.

---

The Haunting: A Comedy of Spirit is, approximately, an AU of season 6 of SG-1. (This is the season when Daniel was dead.) In this story, ascended Daniel just never leaves Jack alone. Jack is bitchy about this, Sam and Teal'c are concerned for Jack's sanity, Skaara would like to not have to be the one to break it to Jack that Jack and Daniel are kind of dating, and somehow Jonas ends up obsessed with vampires. I've written a chapter and a half and about two thirds of the outline, and that much story is twelve thousand words, seriously, what, how. I posted the first chapter two years ago, and I really would like to finish it. I started rewatching season six with my brother toward this end.

---

Kryptonian Neal, who needs a better working title. This is a White Collar/DCU fusion inspired by this image of Matt Bomer in Clark Kent glasses and some of Neal's more alien behavior--seriously, every time I watch the scene at Maria's house in "Book of Hours," where she leans in and he doesn't kiss her for like, two minutes, and in fact does not kiss her at all in that scene, despite her continually leaning right into his space--yeah, this is clearly Kryptonian touch taboo at work. *nods vigorously* There are two relevant entries where I discuss this story: a snippet about Neal's Kryptonian criminal record and a solicitation of which parts of DCU I should draw on.

---

Rubyverse, my AU of season 4 of Supernatural, which is actually two fucking epic stories, paired:

The first is primarily about Sam and Ruby's summer vacation. Its working title is something along the incredibly clichéd lines of "To Hell and Back" because the primary AU feature of this part of the story is that Ruby actually assists Sam in attempts to get Dean back from hell, up to and including storming hell via the devil's gate in Wyoming. They also do other dumb shit like call up the crossroads demon and fail to deal (almost exactly as shown in canon) and call up the Trickster and ask him to turn back the clock again. But the main feature is the trip to hell--the preparation for it, because they have to get the colt from Crowley to open the gate, and because it's a long journey requiring provisioning (I think they spend nine months under hill, which works out to like, two and a half days topside) as Sam can't eat or drink anything he didn't bring in with him, or he'll end up trapped there. Ruby leaves her body topside and in hell becomes apparent as the image of how she was when she died, which leads to interesting bits of backstory coming out (which conflict with other parts of backstory she tells to other people at other times, unless you know what I know, and you won't, because the one POV that will not be present in this story is Ruby's). Ruby feeds Sam a metric fuckton of her own blood in hell, to the point that he can black-eye voluntarily, in an effort to allow him to pass as demon to casual inspection, so they can travel in hell without getting caught. (Sam remains altered by this after they get out, and Dean gets out, much to Dean's dismay; however, the manner of blood-drinking matters a lot, and this Sam only drank Ruby's freely offered blood: he didn't slaughter unwilling demons or kill a nurse or even take of Ruby's unconscious host, because Ruby left her body topside and fed Sam direct from herself in hell. He was also not trying to gain the strength to control or kill demons, and intent matters. So Sam ends up with an uncomfortable amount of power that is not tainted the same way it is in canon.) They eventually do not break Dean out because Sam snaps and busts a few hundred damned, tortured souls out and draws the attention of who Ruby terms "the scary motherfuckers": fallen angels, of whom there are not that many, but they run hell, and really the only thing to do is flee. I know this story is told out of order and I'm playing with something as simple as the framing device of telling Dean what happened while he was down, interspersed with a short run of events immediately after they get him back (Ruby fucking with Dean, the process of figuring out who Castiel is, and Castiel meeting Ruby and being extremely baffled by her, because interrogation suggests that not only is she trying to prevent the apocalypse, she has feasible plans for doing so). The ending is where Sam and Dean meet Ruby-who-is-not-Ruby: the coma girl woke up, and Ruby vacated her body.

The second part is going by the working tile of "Janie, and Other Lost Lambs," and is about, among other things, just-awoken amnesiac coma girl, who goes by Janie, as dubbed by Ruby, short for Jane Doe. Janie makes a go of life away from the Winchesters and the apocalypse while Ruby rides a proper corpse (male, just to mess with Sam and Dean's heads). But Janie... she can't remember anything about her own life at this point, but she remember parts of what Ruby did in her body (so most of part 1, except for the actual in-hell bits, during which comatose Janie was left in Bobby's care, I'm pretty sure). And she ends up calling Ruby, because Ruby is all she knows. Eventually demons hunt Janie down and try to take her apart to figure out what the fuck Ruby is doing (not unlike what happened to Jimmy Novak), and when the boys and Ruby ride to her rescue, Ruby ends up riding Janie again on a more permanent basis, with permission and certain protections. Janie gets more involved in Ruby's plan to stop the apocalypse, which at this point involves fucking with the seal count to buy time. I have a handful of seals I know they mess with that I swear are not all designed to get certain rarepairs I want (Ruby/Cas, Janie/Jo, Cas/Janie, what have you...) and there is ongoing back and forth between Ruby and Cas about how possession functions (and the fact that Jimmy is so totally Cas's sub) and how seals are constructed and deconstructed. Janie's pre-coma identity is eventually determined, and it's relevant, but mostly as a thing Janie gives up when Ruby offers her the out again and Janie chooses to stick around to be part of the fight instead. Ruby makes the guys train Janie to fight in case Ruby herself is ever out of commission, which becomes useful sooner than Ruby was expecting when they need a Trickster and Gabriel's reaction to the curiosity that is the Ruby/Janie partnership is to poke hard and damage Ruby in the process. Crowley pops up again. Among my primary clusterfuck (Ruby, Janie, Sam, Dean, Cas and Jimmy) blood and sex get exchanged in various lines. Tattoos are acquired. There is a too clever plan about Lilith, and a less clever back-up plan that Ruby is not admitting to herself she is setting in motion, although Cas and Janie back her on it. There is noncon snuggling. Many people well-meaningly ask, with varying degrees of tact, Janie if she's okay being Ruby's host. The answer sort of fluctuates, but Janie chooses Ruby over other options again, and again, and again. Ruby pushes her, but Ruby offers her the out, too, because it's important that Janie choose--particularly because Ruby is a demon, and there are things she can't choose, and needs Janie to agree to choose for her. I am sort of dancing around not blowing the ending on this one, so I will sum up thematically instead: it's about the limits of free will and the power of choice.

---

*sits back and stares at screen* I've been working on that for four hours, and by the way, those are only the epic stories in my head. I have a ton of smaller bunnies, up to and including the wtf how did I end up with this one Misha/Dean twitterfic. I also have plans this weekend to bang through my prompts post, though I have decided for the sake of getting things flowing that for those prompts I will write what I'm inspired to write and not worry about whether it fits the prompt exactly or might not be what the prompter intended. I feel kind of guilty about it, but it wasn't a secret santa prompt collection and the point was to get me writing, so get me writing we'll do.

And now it might be time to sleep.
jmtorres: (daddy winchester)
The story I wrote for Remix was One Time Sam Went Dreamwalking (Have You Any Dreams You'd Like to Sell?), a pre-series Supernatural story. The original story posited Sam had a dreamwalking ability and showed up in Dean's dreams frequently; I thought Hmm, but if it's not just Dean... and sent Sam off into John's dreams. *grins*

Prompts

May. 23rd, 2010 01:26 am
jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
It's been ages and ages since I did a proper prompts post with like, multiple fandoms on offer, and also very long since I've written anything off a prompts post.

My goal is to write maybe ten scenes off prompts at a thousand words each; please recall that the last time I set out to write a thousand word fic, this happened, so a) I may not get to everyone and b) someone may get a surprise epic. But MY GOAL IS to write ten or a dozen roughly thousands-word stories. PS whoever asked me for "Ruby is Dean's mother" THAT FILE IS STILL OPEN AND MOCKS ANY WORD LIMITS I TRY TO IMPOSE ON IT.

FANDOMS ON OFFER:
--Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
--Vorkosigan Saga
--V60 (aka, Matt and Danny from Studio 60 work for Impsec on Barrayar... it's a whole thing)
--Iron Man movies
--Roswell
--Glass Houses (epic Weiß Kreuz AU, I'm around chapter 130 on reread at the moment, YAY BRADPARENTS)
--White Collar
--Supernatural, although I should warn you I haven't watched the last three episodes so depending on prompt, you might get STRAWBERRY JELL-O.

I will consider other fandoms you know me to have consumed in the past. For instance *glances at [personal profile] grey_bard* just last night I became enamored of the idea of a HL/SPN crossover in which the boys know perfectly well about Immortals, they're just like FUCKING SEACOUVER, LET'S NEVER GO THERE. *grins*

I work best with prompts that are specific but brief enough to capture in ten words or less.
jmtorres: (obligatory atlantis penguin icon)
Currently bouncing around my head (having lots of sex, but whose fault is THAT) are:

Schwarz, Weiß, Team Free Will, and... John Sheppard.

Not the Atlantis team! No. Just John Sheppard.

I'm like, "Dude, what the hell are you doing here? I haven't watched an episode of your show in like, two years." Unfortunately my head people are disinclined to answer direct questions.

(In other news, Ruby likes Yoji? Because apparently Yoji just attracts hot, evil people who enjoy messing with his head?)
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (supernatural)
[personal profile] niqaeli and I are discussing serial killer AUs (my depraved kink, and apparently my braintwin is with me) and I mentioned I'd read some SPN stuff where they're crazy, there's nothing that goes bump in the night, they're actual the serial killers they look like to Henrikson et al. I didn't like that much? Like, I want the AU where there's evil shit that goes bump in the night, and they kill it, but they also kill just people, and they're fucked up enough they don't care.

[personal profile] niqaeli suggested they kill their grateful saved victims. With the logic that the evil shit would have killed them anyway.

Dad clearly does not know. Although if he found out? What the fuck would he do? They are fucking badass and have no compunction about killing human beings. He would try to take them down of course but he'd hesitate, they're his sons, and they wouldn't. And John wouldn't want to call in anyone else on it, because they're his kids, damn it, his responsibility, and oh, it would not end well.

We are trying to figure out when they snapped and I suggested that you know, for years killing evil things was enough and then Sam went to Stanford and swore off killing evil things and... slipped, and killed someone that was just human, just normal, hadn't done anything, no excuse. And shit just spiralled.

We are also trying to figure out which of them it would be more awful to have killed Jessica: Dean, to make Sam come back to him, or Sam, so he could cut ties with Stanford and go back to Dean. Someone on my droll was posting about how five years later they still want to know why Dean, having dropped Sam off at home and driven away, came back to save Sam from fire. Clearly either he knew because he set the fire or something ticked over in his head about stuff Sam had been saying in the serial killer vein, and he realized what Sam was about to do.

I do not know why I find serial killer AUs so fascinating but I do. [personal profile] niqaeli and I agree we'd read the hell out of this. If someone else wants to write it. She has Sam and Dean talking about creepy in her head! I am sorry. Sort of. Not very. Still, someone else would have to write it, we are extremely unlikely to pull this one off ourselves.
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
Meanwhile, in Van Nuys

Notes: This is a Supernatural 5.22 story. While I have been spoiled extensively for 5.22, I have in fact only seen about 15 seconds of it. Also, this is crack. Squick warning for grossitude.

385 words. Also on AO3.

Did that look like jell-o to anyone else? )
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (ruby)
Veggie tofu burger for hilarity, or sexay times with Lilith for theme?

ETA: Dude, "The Monster at the End of the This Book" is like, five times weirder knowing what I have heard from the s5 finale. Like, Sam flailing at Chuck about his blood addiction. Wow. Just. What.
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
Oh, Dean. Why must you be so bad at this.
jmtorres: Aya from Weiss Kreuz gets petted, text: Everyone needs a kitten (kitten)
I'm rereading [personal profile] viridian5's Glass Houses, a Weiß Kreuz AU epic WIP that I was reading along with early on, but somehow lost track of over the years. I love this story to pieces and I have unfinished fic for it floating around on my hard drive, more than I thought I did, actually--over 5,000 words of fluff about Schwarz & co invading Crawford's family, 2100 words of Yoji and Schuldig's relationship drama (they are in no way exclusive, but when Yoji, with help, blocks Schu's telepathy, that's totally cheating), and an actually complete scene, at 1500 words, of did I really? yes, I really did, why god why Nagi/Omi lifted directly from my own personal experience that I thankfully did not ever post.

(Gosh, I have a lot of half-finished WK fic in general, actually. Conveniently I even wrote the end of the Quantum Leap crossover, so I know how the plot on that one works.)

I went skimming through vid WIPs too and I seem to have vidded 90% of a Weiß Kreuz vid, though I think I would have to take it apart at the seams and put it back together before I'd be happy with it now: it doesn't move enough.

Other things in the vid WIP pile:

--The first 19 seconds of an Enterprise vid that makes me cackle with glee (WHO'S YOUR MOMMY)
--The first 58 seconds of my thesis on s4 Supernatural that includes, among other things, Ruby flirting with Cas and Cas giving WTF face
--About 48 seconds of a Fullmetal Alchemist vid, from the middle, being all about how Roy is a broken, fucked-up moppet because Hughes dies
--The first 23 seconds of a Being Human vid that is pretty but also depressing.

I am making an effort to commit fic to computer as it happens in my brain. Last night I wrote 800 words of Janie's declarations; tonight I wrote 600 words of the John and Ruby show. I love the John and Ruby show, and the piece I wrote tonight clears up part of the plot that I was banging my head against. So yay for that.

It's harder to commit to the braindump as instantaneously with vidding because the stuff I've been running in my head is stuff I'm going to have to hunt material to construct, it's not "and this clip from this episode would be perfect!", it's "where is a clip of Ruby lying on her back I could manip into this part of this story." So that's hard.

blargh

May. 2nd, 2010 03:41 pm
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (ruby)
This is about three and a half days I've lost to being sick and exhausted at this point, and right now in the semester I can't afford it. I keep wanting to turn my brain on enough to write fic and I can't do that so how the fuck am I supposed to do homework?

I want to do something nonstandard with Ruby's historical background (because honestly, "when the plague was big," not that fucking specific) and I need to bounce this off people and work out the kinks, because it's racially and religiously problematic ) I mean, this brings up the larger question of in the Supernatural universe, are (lingering ghosthood), [christian] heaven and [christian] hell the only afterlives available to humans, or are other beliefs valid? Can people be reincarnated? Is there a Hades, with Elysian fields and Tartarus? A Valhalla? Etc?

Maybe catching up on recent episodes later will kick me some new ideas on this. Damn it, I dislike defaulting Ruby to christian/euro background, it feels like invisibling the rest of the world not to explore other possibilities, but it's... problematic. yeah.

(At least I can get that much think on, even if I'm not writing actual narrative?)
jmtorres: Animated icon showing Iz and Max from Roswell serious and grinning like fools. Text: alien love/shiny alien love. (roswell)
Hey, if I wrote Roswell fic, would there be any audience for it? I'm trying to figure out what power Kyle eventually gets, and that story would probably be concurrent with how the puppy pile that is the (surviving) Roswell 6 in the VW microbus becomes functional poly. I also have this theory, based on I keep watching episodes in which Liz and Max are desperately making out to achieve moar visions, and Michael offers Max his apartment complete with seduction tunes preloaded on the stereo, for MOAR VISIONS, and I can't help wondering if it wasn't just healing that made Liz eventually get powers. And that therefore Kyle will be flailing about his imminent powers that don't actually show up until he starts doing sex with aliens.

I have in my head two different versions of members of the Roswell 6 attempting to explain puppy pile. Max just runs down the list of who all sleeps with who, Kyle starts talking about primaries and non-mutual primaries.

And yet, for all of that, Ruby still owns my head. Ruby wants to talk the Winchester boys into a threesome, which is something that's unlikely to happen in Rubyverse for a number of reasons, though, well, mostly Hell. If I felt like I could write sex I would dash off a PWP or five. I found a Ruby/Winchesters threesome on AO3 the other day, it was, *laugh* probably less fucked up than I would have written them. Anyone know of other threesome fic that might be wandering about the internet? Or Dean/Ruby? I heart me some Dean/Ruby.
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (coma girl)
Did I just write 870 more words of apparently there's going to be two epic stories in rubyverse, not just one instead of my paper?

One hour until I have to leave. Dean and Ruby can stop philosophizing about demonhood in my head now.
jmtorres: Fight Club: animated with porn insert. Inches on the reel-to-reel. (vid)
Man, I was hoping group project meant my group could carry me. In fact I am the smartest one in the group and the prof basically took me aside and told me I needed to ride herd on the rest of them.

I am skimming a season of Smallville purely for the Ackles because [personal profile] everysecondtuesday is STILL an evil, evil person, and I was reluctant to even mention it here because I really want nothing to do with Smallville or Smallville fandom ever again. But I am unable to contain my WTF. Not cutting for spoilers because season four here.

Apparently, I could make a vid about Lois Lane, Supernatural Hunter. I totally have footage of her digging up Chloe's grave. PS show, if you are trying to convince me Chloe is dead, the credit sequence? Kind of a spoiler.

I am amused by the equal opportunity nudity. Clark? Naked all the time. Lana? Yep. Lois? Uh-huh. Lex? Naked and getting it on! Also, guessing who's going to be in a shower is really tons of fun. It's hard! Because it's not always the chicks! Once it was LIONEL! And because it was a prison shower he got stabbed by a hot young naked fellow inmate! (niq: yes, yes, he took him from behind.)

In the raw steaming pile of WTF category: Lex appears to have been cast in Raiders of the Lost Ark. As a Nazi. He and his white suit of moral despair are very excited over a... model sarcophagus discovered in a pyramid. This visual motif continues in other episodes, where he opens crates of artifacts better filed in a warehouse in perpetuity.

I am deeply confused as to why Jason (Ackles' character) having started dating a high school senior (Lana) would then choose to seek employment at her high school. Because high school coach/high school senior == WORLDS OF WHAT WERE YOU THINKING.

I am far too amused by Lana's Kryptonian tramp stamp. Apparently we are meant to believe Lana and Jason are not actually having sex, because it takes him like, half a dozen episodes to discover the tramp stamp. Also a witch possesses Lana and pins Jason (Ackles!) against the ceiling. It's just like Supernatural! Except with bits that make me cringe and fast forward.

In the land of did that really just happen? Why yes it really did just happen: Lionel Luthor and Clark Kent switched bodies. I actually watched significant portions of the A-plot of this episode because I was dying at Welling and Glover mocking each other's performances. I choose to believe that was all deliberate mockery, because otherwise I am forced to conclude that the nearest thing to Lionel in Welling's acting range is in fact Draco Malfoy. Glover really just thinks Clark's a whiny bitch, though. Best part of this episode: Lex got to remember the switch and demand Clark prove his identity after the fact. Apparently the plausible deniability on the use of powers was "oh! um, side effect of the body swap!"

Because I haven't been listening to most of Lex's scenes I have to ask: Is it canon yet that Lex just pretends not to know Clark's a freak from another planet to humor Clark? Because more than ever this is what it looks like. And, seriously, if Lex can leap to bodyswap as to a reasonable explanation of matters--not to mention Lana possessed by a 17th century witch--you can't tell me he's ruling out "freak from another planet" as too unlikely an explanation for Clark.

I spent a few minutes pondering if Lex's dialogue had always been this over the top. I concluded that yeah, probably, but when I was watching it before I was like, "His love for Clark is so epic!" and now I am fast-forwarding through Lex wandering into a locker room full of naked boys to donate uniforms to the football team because his motivational speech makes my skin crawl. Apparently Clark is kind of at that point, too. Lex shut down the Clark Kent stalker shrine because Clark told him it was creeeeepy and now Clark is all YOU CANNOT BUY MY LOVE FRIENDSHIP! and Lex is all YOU ARE THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME CLINGING TO HUMANITY! And I am not paraphrasing nearly as much as I wish I were.

In conclusion: I now have lots of footage of Ackles making out with girls.
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (coma girl)
I am dying of allergies. Seriously, zyrtec-D is the only thing that makes my life worth living right now. And sucktastically as well, the sniffling and the watery eyes mean I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of crying. That plus general failure to cope makes me feel like I am constantly breaking down.

I am frustrated with my headspace about Supernatural right now. I'm starting to come out of the fruitcake obsesso place and wake up with the "did you get the number of that truck?" hangover about the last few months and I don't want to, quite yet, I want to actually write and vid a lot of the bunnies I have hanging around. I think part of the problem is that I don't deal well with week-to-week viewing of a show, as opposed to binging. It's killing me to play will I be jossed, will I be kripked, instead of just mainlining. (I realize normal people just watch shows this way. Hi, I'm not normal.)

So I have a plan. I haven't decided if I'm going to implement the plan yet, because there are drawbacks to the plan. But the plan is: I don't watch between now and the season finale, and then I get to mainline the last, what, five or so episodes. In between I would watch older stuff (I still haven't finished watching season 2!) and then when I get to mainline season end, I think I'll get a resurgence of fruitcake interest without the stop and go stagnation frustration I'm getting now.

Drawbacks: I'm actually looking forward to the next few episodes, based on spoilers. Not sure I have the patience. [personal profile] everysecondtuesday, [personal profile] grey_bard, and [personal profile] echan would have a hard time talking to me without spoiling me (though considering how much I've been trawling imdb and youtube, maybe that would be okay? I could just be not-watching-spoiled until I mainline). And then, I don't know, there's vid considerations. Which is totally the last thing on my list because I'm still on waitlist for vvc and feel weird submitting stuff if I'm not going and honestly, vvc is going to be "I'm spending $500 to hang out with some people I like," as opposed to the other thing.

I keep turning myself around on that, too. I had one idea I thought I was doing for challenge and it occurred to me in like, the past two hours, that the drawer vid might be even MORE challenge-suitable. So there's like, three or four things I want to take to vvc. I mean, I guess just in that "to show my friends" way.

*wibble*

Apr. 9th, 2010 11:17 pm
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
So I've started looking for Castiel/Gabriel fic. It is thin on the ground. Oh well. But so there's one on delicious entitled "Incestuous Adventures in Post-Apocalyptic Dating," by a deleted user named [livejournal.com profile] not_refined. As the user is deleted, the fic is not accessible. Does anyone know where to find a copy of this story? Based purely on the title I am pretty sure I would enjoy it immensely.
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (coma girl)
When tallying death tolls, should we count demons and hosts seperately?

When tallying screentime, should already dead people (ghosts, zombies) count automatically as torture/gore/scare porn or should it matter what they look like (see 5.15, 5.16)?

ETA per niq: Relatedly, how should we class gender on demons? Should it be based on the host we see them die in, or should we be taking a look at what different kinds of hosts we seem them in and what kind of host they take most?

ETA2: Blood goatee: gore porn? not gore porn? ETA3: Also, bloodplay, as in Ruby cutting herself up for Sam's delectation, etc: gore porn? not gore porn?
jmtorres: animation: Supernatural 4.09, Ruby gasps as she wakes up Coma Girl. Text: COMA GIRL LIVES! (ruby)
So in the long saga of Supernatural women who die of either fire or being stabbed in the womb, we've caught a couple of exceptions in the season two finale two-parter, All Hell Breaks Loose. The lesbian is not stabbed or set on fire! She is hanged from the neck until dead. Ava is also not stabbed or set on fire! Jake snaps her neck. Lots of necks for girls in this episode.

On the other hand, there is one person in here who dies of stabbing. That would be Sam. And because he lacks a womb, he has to be taken from behind.

id vidding

Apr. 3rd, 2010 07:25 pm
jmtorres: Castiel speaking on his cell phone: "Even as we speak, it's... going... down." (castiel)
I have a terrible terrible horrible id vid bunny for 5.16 about angst and despair and broken Dean and broken Cas to the theme of I'll never love again.

Everyone keep me away from Final Cut for the rest of the week, after Thursday it won't be au courant enough for me to bother with?

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jmtorres: From Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video; the peach-haired, wide-eyed iteration (Default)
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